Truthful Thoughts

Returned with Honor

2011-12-15T16:24:00.000-07:00

And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father. Amen. (D&C 15:6)

Between the ordinary and the mundane of life, one finds the the small, simple notes that compose a masterpiece of personal joys.

Six years ago, I met a 14-year-old boy in Canela Brazil, who I have since lovingly nick-named, my little Joseph Smith. After teaching, a simple lesson in less-than-perfect-Portuguese, this boy looked at me with his big brown eyes and said: "I want to know everything about Joseph Smith." I knew then that he was a special son of God.

Soon thereafter, Lucas was baptized August 2, 2005, alone with no family support, but a vibrant testimony. I was transferred out of the area only a few weeks later.

Since that time Lucas and I have communicated via letters (while I was still serving) as well as email (after I came home). I was ecstatic when Lucas informed me two years ago, that he would be serving a full-time mission in the Brazil, Sao Paulo North mission.

Words cannot express the joy I have felt as I have wrote and received letter after letter. Such a simple act of love has brought more happiness than I can describe. I have cried and laughed as I have read each letter of this stalwart missionary. Mostly, I've loved see the joy and light in his face as he sent me pictures like this:

Yet, today my tears of joy were different. For this very day my favorite little Joseph Smith honorably returned home to his family and friends in Canela, Brazil. He has completed a mission.

Welcome home Elder Lucas Schenatto, I can't wait to talk to you!

Playing for Father Joe

2011-08-11T17:38:00.012-06:00

"Let's Go Rose Park!"
"Come on, show 'em West Side"

Eyes focused.
Knees Bent.
Glove ready.

The crack of the bat from the opposing team. The ball soared south-west, straight toward me at alarming speed; I steadied my hand, lowered it slightly and.... GA-WHOOSH! The ball was a imprisoned in my glove.

At that exact moment, I thought of one of my greatest heroes, a man who 30 years earlier had made similar catches: my dad, who I have lovingly nicknamed: Father Joe.

Truth be told, my giddy-nature and love-for-the-game has no doubt been influenced by a father who still watches the World Series religiously. Yet, as I have played for the past ten weeks, I am surprised by the increase of love I have felt towards my father. It has become my favorite game, because it is HIS favorite game.

Each time I have walked into the batters' box, my memory flashed back to four small kids, waiting anxiously on a front lawn in rural Utah, to hear the roaring sound of a white Chevy Sierra approaching our drive.

"Pitch for us Dad, please!" my brothers, sister and I would yell in unison.

And he'd pause--nonetheless thinking of his legitimate reason to walk in the house after a long day at work and then chores on the farm--pushing all thoughts away, he played.

Sometimes he'd stay for an hour pitching and watching us as we raced around homemade bases of irrigation boots, old bottles, or ball caps. And other times, he'd only stay for 15 minutes, so each one of us could hit at least once, before church responsibilities or farm chores called him away. Nonetheless, my brothers and sisters were delighted by every second he played.

Play I did these past ten weeks, every Wednesday night, I'd pause from my adult responsibilities just like my father and enjoyed the spirit of fun.

As I stepped on the field, be it at base or shortstop, I paused again to glance at my dad's favorite glove, marked with permanent black marker: WATSON. I'd smile, prepare my stance, and think: "Dad, this one's for you. I'm going to make you proud."

After some great catches, I couldn't wait until the game was over, so I could text Father Joe and say, caught one tonight: Watson Style!

These past few weeks have reminded me that our family relations are some of the best gifts we have been given. For as my hero has taught me, "In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time." (Utchdorf, 2010)

For 15 short minutes, have made all the difference for me 15 years later.

So let's play ball!
I'm playing for Father Joe.

Sacrifice and Compensation

2011-07-28T16:38:00.011-06:00

I don't really think Adam looked at God after his first sacrifice and said, "So, uh, can I eat that lamb tenderloin, because it looks ooooohhhh soooo good."

So keep that in mind as you think about the content of this post, its not really about what one gets as a result of sacrifice, but the joy of realizing what comes because of sacrifice.

On Tuesday, August 28, 2005 I was sitting in a small, dusty, garage-type room packed with five computers in Porto Alegre, Brazil. I was planning to attend the Porto Alegre Temple later that afternoon with my friend, Sister Alaina Jordan, but had stopped quickly at an internet cafe to read my weekly family email. As I clicked open the email from my dad, I read these life changing words:

Tamra, Rugrat got out of his pasture on Saturday and was hit by a van. Luckily the people driving were not severely injured, but Rugrat had to be put down. I heard a neigh that night, and I figured it was him thanking me for all the hay I had given him all these years. I'm sure you'll miss him.

Niagara Falls gushed from my tear duct. My horse, my only horse, was dead. I had been the proud owner of horses for more than 12 years. My mind flashed back to the day I had said goodbye to Rugrat. I took him for a long ride around town, galloped him on my favorite trail, and then fed him some carrots while I stroked his neck. As mom and I drove away, he ran the fence line and whinnied as if to say, "I'll miss you."

It's been almost seven years since that gloomy news day in Brazil. Yet as I glance back with my 20/20 vision of perfect understanding, I realize how much the Lord has compensated me in "horses" because I left mine to do His work.

I spent more than two years riding a beautiful mare named Pacer in Hyrum, Utah. Debbie, Pacer's real owner always claimed her horse was more mine than hers. We formed a fabulous relationship, and although Pacer has been sold, I still visit Debbie often.

When I graduated from Utah State, I feared I would never ride again. Yet, I was delighted when I was introduced to four fabulous horses: Lucy, Lizzie, Paint and Angelina, in Stillwater, Oklahoma. I spent hours on their backs, relaxing my brain from the stringent demands of academic philosophy, research and writing. For the year and a half I spent in that wondrous state, those four ponies became a lifeline.

Now, as an independent woman, living in downtown metropolis, I often wonder how a cowgirl ended up swapping lives with a city girl. As I spent a holiday weekend in my hometown I found myself longing to take a pony on my favorite trails. So I called up a mom of an old pony-club pal and within 30 minutes, Tikki and I were enjoying ourselves on the dusty trail.

Since my last ride, I have realized, God truly recognizes and rewards us for our small sacrifices. I never expected to meet and ride so many wonderful horses during the past seven years, but I have, and its made my life more pleasant and joyful.

So, maybe Adam did eat a nice lamb tenderloin after he sacrificed his best lamb; and although the superb taste of the meat left him drooling, the greater sweetness probably dawned on him as it did me: God is the source of all blessings, even those that follow heart-wrenching sacrifices.

Bug Signs...Coincidence or Tender Mercy?

2011-07-16T22:28:00.007-06:00

I was never one to believe is crazy signs. Yet I had a dear friend teach me last year that nature can teach us many things if we're willing to pay attention.

My first introduction to this concept was the "Watson Penny" theory. My mother is known for her delight in finding random pennies. To her, its a simple symbol that someone else is looking out for her. I've followed my mom's example in this simple act of faith. I've found pennies before my thesis defense, my Utah job interview, and also on many horrible-no-good-days. These small tokens are tender mercies from above.

Still, another pattern of nature has me baffled: Bugs.

The first bug I noticed starting investing my Oklahoma apartment: Jumping Crickets. The showed up in my room and the bathroom. My roommate and I found it quite ironic, due to the fact we'd never seen these bugs before. After some silly conversations, we determined these bugs were trying to tell me to "jump into my future" with spunk and happiness. After that, we never saw another cricket. The message had been delivered.

The second bug that became my friend was the lady bug. About three weeks before I was suppose to move back to Utah, I found multiple lady bugs on my shoulder, or knee. They paused long enough for me to notice them, and then fluttered away. As I pondered my lady bug encounters, I thought of that child nursery rhyme: Lady Bug, Lady Bug, Fly Away Home. That was all I needed. A simple answer from heaven, that truly answered my countless prayers inquiring whether I was making the right choice to graduate and move home a semester early. After I came to this realization, I didn't see another lady bug until the day I left for home. It was a sweet reminder of heaven's approval of my choice.

Recently, obviously with the long winter, I haven't seen lots of bugs; until a few weeks ago. My new bug friend is SPIDERS. (I'm sure Ronald Weasley would not approve). I find them on my patio, in my sandwich during a picnic date, and I even found one on my arm, when I was sitting on the grass after a softball game! So naturally, do to my past experiences with the lady bug and the jumping cricket, I thought I would amuse myself this evening by googling: "symbolic meaning of spiders." I was baffled by some of information I read. Here's some of my favorites:

The Spider serves as a reminder that our choices construct our lives. When the spider appears to us, its a message to be mindful of the choices we are making -- and ask ourselves: How are my choices affecting my life? How can my choices improve my life? How are my choices affecting others in my life?

The appearance of a spider says the decision can be any direction, but just remember whatever you end up with is what you yourself have weaved.

As I've been presented with many choices these past few weeks, its no wonder the spider has been stalking me. I don't really believe in destiny, nor fate -- but I do believe that God uses small and simple things, like nature, to teach us.

Yet, I do agree with Ronald Weasley who proclaimed in the second movie: "Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies?"

Bandwagon Traffic Jam

2011-06-14T17:11:00.003-06:00

And now for the traffic report....

We're seeing some serious backup happening between the Watson Interchange of idea central and time required. Expect some delay due to agricultural advocacy and local business development, coupled with family and church responsibilities, as well as academic goals and playful hobbies. Communication channels are expected to be sparse, random and slightly jumbled, until problems are resolved.

Keep alert listeners, its going to be a fabulous summer.

A Learner in Learning Learnersville

2011-06-10T22:39:00.004-06:00

Today I became an academic on the outside.

A couple of months ago, my thesis adviser suggested I submit my 100+ thesis document into a conference paper, a.k.a chop it down to 30 pages. With the switch between jobs and states, I admit, a part of me groaned at the thought of having one more thing to do. Nonetheless, I made a half-hearted attempt to produce a paper in a matter of an afternoon. I sent it off, and promptly forgot I had ever done anything with it.

A few months later I was surprised when I read the following message in my gmail inbox: Please find the attached acceptance notification of your paper submission for the 2011 ACE International Conference.

Those words made my jaw drop like Sebastian in the Little Mermaid. In fact I began to question the integrity of academics--I did not believe my paper was up to par, given my less-than-enthusiastic attempt to submit something worthy of a conference.

Yet, today, as I presented my work, my attitude changed. I realized good research is still good research regardless of its poorly written transitions, or a few typos disguise. The data I collected bridged a more than 20-year-old gap in agricultural communications student data. Such useful knowledge was in high demand, and screaming for the front stage spotlight. I received compliments from many different faculty and students on my ability to recognize the research gap and then rigorously attempt to fill it with something.

Although, I must confess, the most fascinating thoughts of the day have been devoted to all those who have graduated with some type of upper-level college degree, and never attempted to distribute the knowledge they spent anywhere from six months to three years researching. Consider all the graduate studies that have been "sentenced for life" in the a thesis section of a university's library, where their only true use is to collect dust in the land of the forgotten. What a sad waste of talent and hard work.

I loved sharing my research today, hearing the feedback, and networking with fellow academics. I have learned much as I listened to the other presenters talk about their discoveries. I gained a personal testimony similar to John Milton who believed progression towards Truth was dependent on sharing thoughts with another in the open marketplace of ideas. In essence, progression of a public's educational knowledge is only derived from healthy discussion and discourse. Truthfully and whole-heartily, I was happy to be on the market floor today.

So to sum up my day in Dr. Seuss Language: I've been a happy learner in learning learnersville.

Personal Horcruxes

2011-06-06T17:35:00.008-06:00

No, I don't plan on becoming an evil wizard anytime soon, nor do I plan on trying to figure out how to be immortal now (because it will just happen later, its just a matter of time :)

Yet, in a few ways I have been rediscovering myself with the appearance of different objects. Consider my list:

Chocolate: my African American cabbage patch doll I bought when I was in 2nd grade (yes, I did name her chocolate as a 7-year-old kid). It was the first toy I ever bought with my own hard-earned money. She taught me the value of a dollar and I have cherished her for more than 20 years.

My FFA Jacket: The corduroy blue jacket, accented with corn gold never fails to bring a smile to my face. When I see others in that jacket, I am reminded of my personal responsibility to lead, inspire and teach others about the future of agriculture, be it the urban garden, or rural ranch. When I see my FFA jacket, something swells within that says, "You Can"

Letters from Brazil: Although its been nearly five years since I returned home from serving in the Porto Alegre North Mission, I still have a deep love for all the people who I served. This week I received an email from a man I taught and was as giddy as a girl heading to Disneyland. Each time I read about a person's eternal progress, I can't help but feel an even deeper love.

My Okstate Sweatshirt and Blanket: I stand out like a chubby kid in dodge ball when I display my Orange--Utah is all about the Aggie & BYU Blue or the Utah Red. I admit it, I did bleed blue, a strong blue (aggie and cougar), until I came into contact with Cowboy Orange; but now my soul swells the biggest when I say, yup, I'm an OSU Cowboy! GO POKES!

Its funny how life's sweetest memories can be imbedded in small objects, similar to the fictional horcruxes penned by J.K. Rowling. I don't believe its because we actually place our soul in the object, but rather that such objects remind us of life's sweetest memories. And its in that moment, that one truly understands their own soul.

Life is good.

Thoughts about The Present

2011-05-24T13:32:00.004-06:00

Call me trunky for graduate school.

I miss reading. I miss thinking. I miss writing.

So I opened my own private school: Master Watson’s Academy.
Current Enrollment: 1, moi.

First reading assignment: The Present, by Spencer Johnson.
Book Review: (see below)

Spencer Johnson had already made my author fan club with his insightful book: Who Moved my Cheese?, a creative story about two rats and two humans that paints a realistic picture of different individuals’ reaction to change.

Johnson’s second book used the same technique to teach me about the power of being content in the present, regardless of unmet expectations or superb blessings.

Consider this line, “Pain is the difference between what is, and what you want it to be” (p. 39). The present can be consumed by an array of pains:

Loneliness:
What: physical or mental isolation from God, family and friends.
Want: Pure love from God, family and friends despite words or actions.
Despair:
What: an absence of hope
Want: a reason to hope, evidence or assurance life will be better.

Fear:
What: a lack of trust in God, life and circumstance
Want: safe and stable environment, the assurance that he/she is protected from the storms of life.
Failure:
What: the dread of mistakes, flaws and imperfections
Want: success, perfection, recognition

True, while such a list is far from complete, all four of those pains are broadcasted daily on our personal America’s Most Wanted networks. We all feel lonely, without hope, fearful and imperfect at one time or the other. Yet, Johnson claimed the key to overcoming such consuming emotions was to “appreciate what is right at the moment” (p. 38). Such feelings allow one to become more relaxed and find joy in the present. More importantly, focusing on what is right is like installing a security system for some of our most precious joys—love, learning and laughter. Each can be felt every day regardless of circumstance. They’re gifts from above.

Yet, living in the moment is only one piece of the puzzle, Johnson claimed. “We live in the present, learn from the past and plan for the future” (p. 67).

How does one learn from the past? “It is hard to let go of the past if you have not learned from the past; as soon as you learn and let go, you improve the present” (p. 50). Letting go may mean admitting that one was wrong, or it may even mean accepting injustice or the result of prejudice. Hannah, it could be as simple as confessing eating an entire box of corn dogs in one sitting was not ideal. Learn and Let go. “Remember that you did the best you knew how at the time” (p. 56).

Finally, Johnson wrote, planning for the future, reduces one’s fear and uncertainty, because regardless of what happens, he/she is actively taking a step toward his/her defined success. For me, defined successes have included serving as a state FFA officer, graduating from college, completing a mission, obtaining a master degree, and landing my dream job. Yet currently, my fears and uncertainties have doubled because I don’t quite understand what is on the next horizon. Promotions? Property? Prestige? Horse pooh. Such successes seem unworthy of my personal passion. So I’m stuck, at least for now, searching the stacks of my soul’s library for the map towards my next success.

However Johnson’s next lesson may save me some time: “living in the present, learning from the past and planning for the future is not all there is. It is only when you work and live with purpose and respond to what’s important about the present, past and future, that is all has meaning” (p. 75).

Aha! Now there is the key to joy in the present: purpose. An assurance of knowing that one’s personal actions are making a difference, however the difference is defined in his/her soul: preaching God’s word, volunteering to teach a language or skill in a developing country, or growing organic carrots. How small or how indifferent such actions may appear, the result brings a sustainable joy in the moment.

Accept Today. Learn from Yesterday. Plan for Tomorrow. Live Life with Purpose.

Such small bits of wisdom may as Johnson concluded hold the secrets to making individual happier and more successful today.

Current Destination: Arrived or On Route?

2011-05-11T17:01:00.000-06:00

Master Degree Recipient.
Marketing Specialist at Dream Job.
Inhabitant of big office on the second floor (window included).
Independent Salary and Apartment.

Sure, the feminist community would throw confetti at my current situation. They may even praise me up and down for my accomplishments. Yet, somehow I remain puzzled on how I even arrived at my current destination.

I believe the journey began at my brother's house in Sao Paulo, Brazil, nearly five years ago. As a recently returned missionary, I was browsing the computer for university programs, praying desperately for some type of program, (any type to be honest) to catch my eye so that I might transfer to Utah State for "one-of-those-ever-attractive-boys-i-was-sure-I-was-going-to-marry." My eyes landed on Agricultural Communications.

A few months later, I browsing again when I discovered a new branding program in our state called Utah's Own. My thoughts: Maybe I'll work for them someday.

Fast forward 5 years: I have a B.S. and M.S. in Agricultural Communications and hold the title of Marketing Information Specialist at Utah's Own. Five short years, and my casual thoughts have become reality.

However, the irony of my situation, is my situation. (yes, I know that sounds like a line out of Hamlet).

I refer you back to the reason I was browsing online to switch universities: I was going to marry THAT boy. I wanted to follow the path of my sister, sister-in-laws, mom and grandmas. My professional aspirations for the past 5 years have always included only two titles: Executive Wife and Soccer Mom :). Still, I won't complain about the few titles and experiences that I have acquired in my job search. Consider them internships for my desired position.

Yes folks, in some instances I have arrived professionally ... BUT, be assured, I'm still on route for bigger and better titles. One day I'll be someone's mom.

Wonderful Updates

2011-01-22T21:42:00.012-07:00

Letter written Sept. 10, 2002:

Tamra,

So, any hot RM's? My job's so easy! How's college? ...

So, anyhue--the spirit is so strong here--I don't know what it is but as soon as you walk in you feel it...
Everyone here has told me of how they can see a change in me...
I've never been happier in 5 years Tamra--I WANT to get married SO SO bad in the TEMPLE!!!...
Oh and I want 3 kids.
Love, Rachel

New Reply: January 22, 2011:

Rachel,

Yup, lots of hot RMs, none catch-able yet, unfortunately. College is over, I miss it.
I remember you when you came home from Bryce Canyon, the light that reflected from your eyes, your determination to serve the Lord--I sense that same change of heart within you now...I've kept the letter above for years...hoping one day, all those desires of yours would come true.

You thought you were happy 9 years ago, but just wait until February 26, when you'll finally fulfill your desire to be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity...

And the best part?

Three boys will be waiting to see their amazing mother, all dressed in white.
And I'll be blubbering in the corner, super proud of my best friend.
Love, Tamra

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

2011-01-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

The view from my office window...It doesn't get any better :)

Rocking the technology :)

2011-01-08T13:05:00.005-07:00

I've gone mobile...Yup that means I can blog from my phone now. I have not decided if this mobile technology is a pro or con yet. But for a girl living in a new town it definitely has its perks, it gives me the ability to talk with friends in stillwater, Logan and Brazil all at the same time. Plus it will also provide some much needed entertainment during an eight-hour employee orientation (what could any hr office talk about for eight hours?)

Still my enthusiasm for my new phone also has some cautions-as much as I'd love to side with the peeps who claim socializing via technology is the same as face-to-face, I have to disagree. I'm delighted I can keep up with my old friends via text, Facebook and Twitter, but I think I will still find myself longing for the sound of their laughs and the charm of their smiles. Honestly I used to believe you could really get to know someone via online communication, but as I met with a dear friend last night, I realized that after months of online chats and text messages, I recognized how silly my claim has been that I really understood him. Tis better to say I understood a small part of him. Sure, I'll always be an advocate for all forms of communication, but as in all things we must have a good mixture to stay balanced.

Still, I plan to rock my technology.

Zion's Camp Inspiration

2010-12-20T20:08:00.006-07:00

Inspirational phrases are like boomerangs--be cautious when you use them, because they're bound to come swinging back in your direction.

About six months ago I was asked to give a talk in church about following the Spirit, or the answers God gives us in prayer. Interestingly enough, I cited the story of Zion's Camp, the account of 500 men called to march 900 miles to redeem Zion. When these men reached their destination, the Lord told proclaimed, "therefore it is expedient in me that mine elders should wait for a little season, for the redemption of Zion." (D&C 105:13). Or in modern terms: Turn Around, Go Home Boys!

I have found this story applies in our times--oftentimes we are called to go in one direction for a time, only to be told months or years later its time to turn around. We can moan the entire way back, or trust that the Lord has a greater plan and will truly fight our battles (D&C 105:14). Thanks Megan, for reminding me of that power.

For the Spirit of Christmas

2010-12-18T21:48:00.002-07:00

The vibration noise of my phone sounded at 8:15 am, then at 8:20, 8:25, 8:30, 8:35, 8:40 and until I heeded its call at 8:45--I had an appointment with one of Santa's elves, 9 am sharp.

The reason? My never-to-be-released-from-my-heart of a home teacher, Brother Rigby, had cornered me a week ago about fixing the interior door-panel of my parents 1997 Ford Crown Victoria. Although named the-girl-that-would-starve-to-death-if-she-had-to-survive-by-her-hands by my dear mother, I decided to try my hands a fixing the door for my parents.

From 9am until 4pm we concocted a way to resurrect a door panel that resembled the tributaries of the Mississippi River. More than 20 ideas were used in that garage on 6th North and 3rd East. Even more trips were made to the local hardware store. But in the end, every part was attached by screws, glue and zip ties. While the finish product does not resemble the interior of a new Lexus, (more like an armed tank), the door functioned once again.

Such a day will remain within my hall-of-fame of Christmas memories. For twas a gift not asked for, but much needed. Twas the gift of love and practicality.

To the Females of Planet Earth

2010-12-14T20:23:00.006-07:00

I couldn't believe my eyes, there it was sitting in his inbox: a hate letter address to one of my favorite guys on earth, my little brother. The something-or-other addressed email that solemnly proclaims before the world: "because you were born I have the right to be miserable," complete with the tears, confetti and embellished invitations to a self-made pity party.

Such an act, was the last on my tolerance list for pathetic girl stupidity. So I declare this bold proclamation in behalf of all males to walk the earth (who at times, I admit, have done me the favor of getting under my own skin). Still I write these words:

Ladies, Let us stop blaming men for not fulfilling our "vain imaginations" created by stuffing our heads full of Twilight, modern-day chick-flicks and evening-sitcoms. Its time we turn off the flick and meet a REAL Nick.

Let us cease to compare their sincere kind acts with the empty, superfluous acts of diamonds, flowers and lustful kisses portrayed on the Hollywood and Halmark screens every day. How about appreciating the awkward phone call, conversation or glance?

Most importantly, let us put a halt to our womanly rituals that force us to cough up all our horrific relationship experiences (obviously souped up throughout the years to satisfy our pride and receive more pity) during what supposedly is intended to be a fun girls night out. Why do we continue to gauge our personal successes with our martial status? Why are the first words between long-lost single female friends, "so are you dating anyone?" Let us love each other for who we are NOW, not the person we will be in 5, 10 or 15 years.

Think about it...Men are looking for princesses, those found in the films we all adored as little kids: Cinderella, Aurora, Snow White, Ariel and Belle. Women who were proud to be women: soft-spoken, nurturing and beautiful from the inside out. Sadly, I believe there are far too many women imitating the wicked step-mothers, witches and villains--striking their prey or manipulating circumstances to be admired, pampered and adored.

I guess we all could use a little reminding, myself included, that God created men and women to be equal partners, help meets and companions. One was never intended to spend a life in servitude to the other. Life was never intended to be perfect, but it was intended to be a lab for small and simple changes. Please, let us free men of our foolish and vain romantic and impossible expectations. Let us be the friend even if we desired more.

Most importantly, let us be the women God intended us to be.

GASP....Politics.

2010-09-20T13:48:00.002-06:00

There seems to be a negative connotation associated with politics these days. A practice once seen as an elite's liberty, now is replaced by an apathetic sigh: "well, it doesn't make much of a difference."

I recently learned that my Grandfather had great respect for the office of the President of the United States. If someone openly criticized the position, he would politely put them in their place. He knew something about patriotic responsibility. Since I heard this story, as his grand daughter, I feel a stronger desire to understand what drove my grandfather to hold such passion for this country.

My professor, Dr. Kathleen Kelsey also recently posed the question: "Is America a free country?" After receiving several nods from the classroom she declared: no. America is not a free country, we're a democracy--nothing comes free. Its true. We are a democracy--a country that relies on the virtue of its people to determine justice and equality. What a responsibility. If we fail, I guess we have no one else to blame but ourselves. (Wouldn't this make a great headline on CNN.com?)

So, with my new found patriotism, I stumbled upon a Facebook--the new marketplace of ideas--link leading to an speech Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave on Constitutional Day, Sept 17. in Salt Lake City. Consider this concept:

"A constitution gives the people and their elected leaders the opportunity to make many decisions that are unwise or even reckless. When that happens — when the government or one of its officials engages in some kind of action that we consider to be wrong — we should engage in vigorous public debate about it. But we should not use up a constitution by attempting to strike down every ill-conceived act of government or to discredit every unwise official. A constitution is the ultimate weapon, and we preserve that weapon best by using it sparingly and carefully. If we call some action unconstitutional, we should be prepared to explain what provision or principle of a constitution it violates. In this way, a constitution can be used to stimulate discussion and to seek unity.

This quote resonated with me. It made me think of powerful words--Action. Responsibility. Respect. I think these words stirred up the same passion within me that my grandfather held so many years ago. I encourage all to read the full address here

God Bless America.

Food for Thought

2010-09-08T14:09:00.003-06:00

Its not often that I direct someone to another blog to read up on another's happenings. However, today, I am going to ask you to take some effort to read a post recently written by Seth Winterton, an agriculturist in the state of Utah. His post corresponds with many of my personal beliefs--Buy local, Build Local.

Read the post here: Ride the Brand

I'm curious to know the opinions of ya'll--why do we support a cheap food system? Are Mom and Pap shops really destined to be a story in history? Does it buying local matter to you? Why or why not?

To My Achiever Within....

2010-08-18T17:39:00.004-06:00

&*^%$#!
%$@!&*!
&%@*^%$#@!#%^&!!!!!

"Stress is when your gut says "NO" but your mouth says, "Of course I will"

I believe I am an achievement addict (not to be confused with a recognition addict). I get a thrill out of processing new ideas, executing new activities and seeing other grow and succeed. Metaphorically speaking I am the baker who loves to select and mix all the ingredients for the perfect tasting cookie.

My problem? Oftentimes I decide to double or quadruple the recipe and before long the dough transforms itself into a Watson Eating Cookie Monster. I give 120 percent of myself for 8 strong weeks....and then:

Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! ...
The villain I created comes searching for its next victim...I CRASH.

Someone once said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

As I am approaching my last semester of graduate school, I find myself searching for my baking hat. I've noticed myself dabbling in all the ingredients. I've even caught myself trying to make someone's cookies.

Then I found these great cooking coaches:

1-A Good Scripture
2-A Good Talk
3-A Good Song
4-A Good Movie
5-A Good Friend

And I figure, all that matters is that I keep baking; the rest will sort itself out in the oven.

My Photos

2010-08-03T18:52:00.001-06:00

Creativity Heals the Soul

2010-07-31T14:30:00.006-06:00

As you can tell, I've been rather busy. Its been an incredibly good summer full of text book readings, random trips to Utah and photography. In between my crazy schedule I've tried to make some time for horseback riding, fun dinner nights and service. However, this past week was rather stressful wrapping up the final details of summer courses and trying to mentally prepare for Fall Semester.

Honestly, all of us have moments when we think its impossible to go one more step, or have energy to do one more thing required of us. As I've been wrapping up my college education, I've been pondering the attitude demonstrated by Jimmy Morris, the main character of the 2002 Disney Movie, The Rookie. After finding the breaking point working towards his dream, he re-evaluates his motives and discovers joy baseball again. My favorite line happens as he re-enters the locker room after a change in attitude, he says with a big grin: "You know what we get to do today, Brooks? We get to play baseball!"

Today, I had such an Epiphany. I spent the afternoon designing in Adobe Photoshop. After about two hours, I felt my mind relax and I found joy in my work. Then I thought, Wow, Tamra, you know what you get to do for the rest of your life? CREATE!

Here's my favorite creation that brought me joy today: Enjoy :)

Ahem...A public safety announcement:

2010-07-10T21:42:00.001-06:00

A good reason one should wear shin guards:

but I still love soccer just the same, go figure.

I admit it, I cried...

2010-07-09T21:56:00.007-06:00

Yes, I did...I cried during a recent viewing of Pixar's new movie, Toy Story 3. I've heard many other girls proclaim they did the same thing. So what was it about the new movie that moved us all to tears? I give you my top ten reasons:

10-Excessive dust in the theater?

9-Allergies?

8-An oversensitive nature?

7-Humidity: its so hot my eyes decided to sweat?

6-Too much time reading my thesis material, am I going insane?

5-Too much time working on a website, am I really going insane?

4-Saying Goodbye to Woody and Buzz and all the other Toy Story 3 characters I grew up watching

3-Oozing over priceless memories of Chocolate (my favorite cabbage patch kid) and all my other favorite toys

2-Remembering the power of carefree playful imaginations

1-Recognizing I'm all grown up and there's no turning back.

Ahem...Pardon my Soap Box

2010-06-25T19:49:00.005-06:00

Since I was old enough to drive I have been puzzled by road construction.

Today, as I was driving to Dallas, I hit three different traffic jams because the freeway was "under construction" and had closed one of the two lanes. However, it is not the closure of the lane that makes such a situation a citizen of my pet-peeville. Rather, it is the absence of workers or actual work at these sites. Two of the three congested areas I passed through this afternoon looked like the abandoned gold mining towns of the 1860s.

So, my question is: if you don't have the man power to finish the project in a couple of weeks/months, why close down the lane? In any other form of business, such extended projects are thought to be absurd. Consider the doctor: oh, sorry, I'll have to put your stitches in one year from tomorrow; or the farmer: well, I don't think I'm going to plant your favorite crop for another two years. Most businesses are driven by consumer demand, therefore naturally responsible to get the job done. Well, on the same note, we pay the tax dollars to repair the roads. Why don't we demand more?

Could someone please enlighten me on this situation? Until then, I'll step off my soap box.

My current state:

2010-06-24T10:37:00.004-06:00

So I'm going to Utah. Nuff said.

To the Director of Mosquito Incorporated

2010-06-22T08:58:00.005-06:00

Dear Sir,

I wish to file my complaints against the prejudice demonstrated by your domestic and international employees. I write this letter to serve as a testimony against the unjust actions of your blood collectors.

1st Offence: Alfalfa Fields, Sanpete County, Utah:

When I was just a nymph I followed my father into the beautiful green alfalfa fields; my duty was to help him by unhook the ball from the socket in the irrigation pipes. Yet, as I did so there was a constant buzzing in my ear. Soon the humming turned into gnawing small bumps appeared on my skin. I found my job difficult as I tried to scratch and unhook the pipes simultaneously. At first, I figured if I treated your folk nicely they'd would leave me alone after a year or two; however, they only increased their demand for the volume of my blood. I escaped your collectors in 2002 when I left for college. Still, on the occasional visits to fields since then I find your employees more vicious, as if I had offended them by my absence.

2nd Offence: Sao Leopoldo, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil:

I arrived in Brazil about five years ago. I planned to serve others and go about doing good. When I moved to a new city, Summer was showing itself to the city of Sao Leopoldo. My apartment (described by the Elders as the best ever) had a moldy fridge, no dresser or closet and only one bed. While I do not blame my poor circumstances on you, I do use it as a framework to show how heartless your employees were to me in my helpless state. The first evening I spent there, the heat was unbearable; yet, to make things worse the familiar buzzing and gnawing returned like a childhood nightmare. I had about 20 bites by morning. My colleague (native to the country) none. The following night, I received 100 more! Your employees refused my pleas to "go away!" They caused me embarrassment as the natives believed I had pugas (fleas). Still, the person I lived with continued to receive no bites. Luckily, I was saved by a fan and blew your employees away.

3rd Offence: Stillwater, Payne County, Oklahoma:

Now, it has been many years since the last serious offence. For the past four years I have been nibbled on occasionally, but I have not minded making occasional donations to your company. Yet, when I decided to go play soccer with my friends last Saturday, once again your collectors seemed to select me above the rest. I received more than 10 bites in less than an hour and have been relentlessly scratching ever since. I have bumps on my arms and bumps on my legs. Since then I have noticed I receive more bites as I walk to work in the morning. I must demand that such injustice cease. I have paid my dues, please remove me from your collectors list.

The victim of your employees,
Tamra Watson

Because I asked...

2010-06-17T09:28:00.007-06:00

I'm sure one of my readers has experienced the beginning of a bad day. Sometimes it rolls out of nothing: the whole wake-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed syndrom. Other times, its justified by unrealistic expectations placed on oneself or another in authority. Its during these times we want to find the nearest exit equipped with automatic doors.

I was heading for the exit door this morning; the biggest reason being I have not let myself sleep long enough this week. Yet, as I paused for my morning study, I asked for some help--something to give me the motivation to press on and remember I was capable of doing all things as long as I had the help of the Lord.

I logged on to lds.org, for just a moment and watched this encouraging video.

Not only was this video encouraging, but it also reminded me of a strategy I used as a missionary in Brazil. Like Elder Holland, I used to envision myself as an older person encouraging my younger self. I like him used to say:

"Don't you quit! You keep walking! You keep trying! There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

"Trust God and believe in good things to come"

For all that have bad days, there is help around the corner. Oftentimes all we need to do is veer quickly from the self-destructing exit door of self-pity and look towards the heavens to ask for help. We may feel uncapable, unworthy or unwilling.

Yet, there is help, "for with God all things are possible" (Mark 10:27).

Because Being a Watson Means Something

2010-06-15T11:59:00.004-06:00

Recently I had the chance to get together with some friends and play some games. I began the night playing Skip-Bo and eventually joined another game called, A to Z, which I soon discovered is like playing Scattergories on too much caffeine. There were two teams, boys verses girls, and the game began instantly competitive.

For the first round, the girls had 30 seconds to name things to describe us, using the letters A to Z. I, instantly screamed out "Watson" as an adjective. While the guy-team accepted the descriptor, it became the example of mockery for poor-words used for the rest of the game.

I admit the first few times Watson was mentioned mockingly, I brushed it off. However by the tenth time I was starting to feel my blood rush to my cheeks and my heart beat accelarate. One can imagine my shock as I heard these words shoot out of my mouth:"If you say that one more time, you're going to see the Sanpete Girl come out in me."

People gave me some blank stares, my bishop muttered for me to calm down and I felt a bit surprised I had threatened someone I barely knew. As I pondered the experience later in the evening I realized the reasons for my anger.

The word "Watson" to me holds so much more meaning than a regular adjective. Its dictionary meaning reads: son of the leader of the army. In a way, I see my family as part of an army. One who believe duty and honor are important virtues not to be forgotten. Watsons have fought for freedom, both political and religious. Watson believe in getting a good college education. To be a Watson means you learn how to work hard to get the job done, regardless of how many hours it takes.

Still, when I think of Watson, I think of all the amazing people I know who bare the name. My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas; and it has been their amazing examples that have taught me: To Be a Watson Means Something.

Falling in Love and Saying Good-bye

2010-06-12T12:29:00.011-06:00

In my life I have often wondered why we fail to recognize how much we love someone or something until the unanticipated good-bye approaches. This month marks my one-year anniversary at Oklahoma State University, land of orange t-shirts and cowboys.

Prior to moving to Stillwater, Okla. I had never seen campus, nor did I anticipate how beautiful it would be. I spent this morning wandering campus and taking pictures of my favorite spots. I hope to cherish these scenes forever, as I look to say good-bye to Oklahoma State University in December.

Change

2010-06-02T09:44:00.008-06:00

I sat through a class this morning and discussed the diffusion of innovation theory; more simply defined as the power of planned change. According to the founder, Everett Rogers, planned change has 5 steps:

Awareness: spreading the knowledge about change
Persuasion: helping others to form an attitude
Decision: adoption or rejection of change
Implementation: execution of planned change
Confirmation: acceptance of consequence--reward or punishment

The largest or smallest changes in the world use to some extent the thoughts outlined in this theory. However, each starts with the awareness: a knowledge of the need to change.

Knowledge is powerful. With it, one can convince the non-healthy person to start eating right, help the misbehaved child learn manners, or bring tumultuous nations to peace. Sometimes knowing the "why" behind the "do" can perform miracles. I think that is why the scriptures declare, a man cannot be saved in ignorance. For life eternal is to KNOW the only true God and his son Jesus Christ.

How often do we truly seek knowledge? I don't believe knowledge is necessarily connected with a higher education. One can have a four-year degree and still be clueless in knowledge. For to obtain true knowledge once must actively seek to know and apply truthful principles. For example, consider the child learning how to speak. The first couple of words they learn are simply people or objects: mommy daddy, kitty, tractor; they learn to speak by observation and repetition; however, when they finally connect the meanings to words, they learn application. Words like NO! and MINE! become powerful in application.

How many of us in adulthood have forgotten the power of application? To read or talk about something and use it to our benefit; not necessarily to achieve prestige or a wonderful grade, but to serve our fellowmen. To be curious for curiosity sake.

I think such an attitude brings about true and long-lasting change. For knowledge applied is power.

The P-Town Sliders

2010-05-31T17:04:00.005-06:00

Memorial Day was named to honor those who had gone before; especially those veterans who had passed on fighting for our freedom. Oftentimes it is so easy to forget those honored men who dreamed and lived for liberty.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been involved with another dreamer; one who believes freedom should be remembered through music. He and his buddies met together to form the P-Town Sliders, a trombone-band dedicated to making patriotism personified. They play old arranged tunes like Yankee Doodle and God Bless America. Mostly, they just play so others can remember the songs that helped create the feeling behind freedom.

Its been fun to be a part of such a group. I created their logo and I thought all of you'd like to see. For a video of their first performance click here.

A First for Everything....

2010-05-17T22:10:00.003-06:00

I have a small cermanic sign displayed on my desk that reads:

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one else is watching.

I love how it reminds me to do the right thing every day, especially when no one is watching.

However, tonight I had different experience. I decided to attend a popular movie with some friends. The movie sounded great, but within the first 15 minutes there was enough violence to cover both World Wars. I got sick to my stomach and covered my eyes. Then I did something I never have done before: I got up and walked out.

You know I have always wondered what feeling one would get after walking out of a no-good movie. I always thought I would feel embarassed, or wonder what my friends were thinking. Instead I felt the exact opposite: I felt incredible. As soon as I left the theatre, a sweet feeling of love and gratitude swept me up.

And I remembered, sometimes integrity to the Lord is doing the right thing when everyone is watching.

Saying Goodbye

2010-05-10T20:32:00.011-06:00

Memories have interesting characteristics. They can move one to laugh, cringe, sigh or cry. I had a weekend full of memory recall.

I spent the majority of Thursday and Sunday evening packing up my old room. As I folded my FFA blue corduroy jackets with "North Sanpete" and "Association" listed on the back, I cried. The tears were a bit confusing; for they came not from a longing or regret, rather, I believe they were shed in the sweetness of gratitude.

Today, was full of more memories. I spent the day cleaning and oiling my old saddles. As I scrubbed, I thought of all the places I had been in them. Flashbacks on pre-show nerves fluttered in my stomach as I brushed circles of dirt off the english dressage saddle. It was the first expensive saddle I ever (or probably will ever) own. With its help and a lot of pratice, Exacaliber (my valiant thoroughbred-quater horse cross) and I won a 5th place ribbon at the state english show. I spent five years working for such a placing.

As I started on my western saddle, I easily saw myself racing up green-alfalfa fields on a fat black and white pony with the wind rushing by my cheeks; I could fly in those days. As I completed my task, I could not help but long for the carefree summer days I spent in those saddles. I also thought of all the blue ribbions Oreo and I won in a used $100 saddle. I guess it taught me one didn't need the fancy saddle to win.

Still, I had to say goodbye. The FFA jacket is packed in a box and the saddles will be sold tomorrow.

Yet the memories I made will endure forever.

Spontaneity Gone Bad

2010-05-06T10:36:00.004-06:00

Call me a perfectionist.

I wanted the fairy tale sort of a day. I would be the fair maiden waiting at the top of the mountain.

As you can see, my truck had a different story line.

Meet stutters. He's a full cousin to Mater off of the Pixar movie Cars. He's a manly sort of truck, so obviously he wanted a more masculine encounter.

As I was driving on 9th East in Provo towards my favorite spot, Stutters decided to sacrifice part of himself to transform me into the Damsel in Distress. His clutch busted into pieces, leaving me helpless.

So I called an Elder from my mission...He was my district leader 5 years ago. He played the part of hero. Not exactly the prince that I envisioned, but I was grateful.

We hiked the mountain together, he thought I was crazy.

What a fairy tale.

The phase before dating...

2010-04-25T20:22:00.004-06:00

Since I'm on the "just so you know" phase, I thought I would update my married friends on the new pattern of dating.

Phase #1: Facebook Creeping

If a girl finds a guy attractive these days, she checks out his facebook page. She pours over his pictures trying to figure out if the girl standing on his left is a friend, sister or true love. After she proceeds to his profile page to make sure he has the compatible characteristics. If all things look good, she'll talk to him at church or school.

Phase #2: Texting

Once the potential is approved on facebook, the texting game starts. Instead of flirting face to face, one has to be witty with his/her texting words. Emoticons such as :) or ;) can help give feeling to the text. But be careful ladies. No boy wants an annoying texter. Its all about strategy. If you text one day, he has to intiate the next text. If he ignores your texts, its time to move on.

Phase #3: First date

Finally after one has waded through all the technology hoops a formal date is set up. Most people have things to talk about on the first date due to the texting and facebooking. At the end of the date, if one or the other is "interested" they will send a text to their date informing he/she had a wonderful time. If the date replies, it generally guarantees a second date.

I find this process fascinating. Fifty years ago, people met each other at the town dance. If the guy liked the girl, he walked her home. Twenty-five years ago, you could met the girl at the local hang-out spot or high school football game. If the guy liked the girl he asked her out. Ten years ago, you e-mailed or instant messaged the person a date invitation.

It makes me wonder, will people be living virtual lives in 25 years? If so, consider me a 5'10 slender brunette with perfect intelligent living on a cattle ranch.

Any cowboys near by?

Nuff said.

Just so you know...

2010-04-24T21:49:00.002-06:00

I HATE moving.

In the past 4 years I have:

1-Moved to Logan
2-Moved to another house in Logan
3-Moved to an apartment in Logan
4-Moved back into the house in Logan
5-Moved to Spring City
6-Moved to Oklahoma
7-Moved to a different house in Oklahoma

And now...I'm moving again, to a different apartment. I think I've switched apartments more in the past four years than I did my entire time on the mission--while I was in Brazil I only was transfered 5 times.

Yet I think the oddest part about my whole moving experience is: I never have time to do it. In all the moves listed above, I don't think I've ever had more than a day to get packed up and moved in. I'm always super busy be it work, school or family activities. So let's just say my organizational moving skills are horrid.

I'm ready to put down some roots. Move and stay.

Anybody got any good grass seed? I want to plant a lawn and watch it grow.

Slooooow, sloooooow, quick! quick!

2010-04-13T10:57:00.002-06:00

Last night during Family Home Evening, a bunch of young single adults got together to learn some ballroom dancing. I have to admit I have an obession with watching ballroom dancers. They all appear to be so graceful and beautiful.

Yet, as I began last night I couldn't find grace at all--My knees were equal to a new born calf, my face was the color of a tomato and I was laughing like an hyena. Me?! Ballroom dance? You might as well ask an elephant to willingly step into a freezer.

As the night progressed, I found myself getting a little better; I prefered to lead I admit it. It was a lot easier if I knew where I was going, when I was going to turn, etc. However, the ballroom dance teacher spotted my pride and came over and asked to be my partner. He repeated the instructions to hold a good frame and pay attention to his movements. I obeyed and soon I was dancing gracefully across the floor in perfect sync with him and the music.

As I found the perfect sync, my memories were flooded with images of my parents dancing in the kitchen, at weddings and church dances. I felt as though for a small moment, I had found my mother's grace. I was finally dancing the rhythm of sloooooow, sloooow, quick! quick.

Miracles happen every day.

A Few Short Moments

2010-04-01T22:29:00.011-06:00

Today started out in the nightmarish way--didn't hear the alarm, late for class, got a parking ticket, late for institute, forgot my lunch, etc, etc, etc. In fact by 2 pm, I had a throbbing headache--the imtoooverwhelmeddonttalktomesortofheadache.

Then I remembered, a simple thing I had forgot to do: Start my day with my thoughts towards the heavens; I call it paying my tithing of the day. Heavenly Father has given me so much between jobs, graduate school scholarships, family and friends, I figure I owe it to Him so I give Him part of my day by reading my scriptures.

When the repentant thought dawned on me this afternoon, I had a to-do list the size of the Panama Canal--Papers, Presentations, Peeps: you name it. However, I did a rare thing today. I shoved the overwhelming feeling aside and gave 30 minutes to God. I opened my study manual (Preach My Gospel) to the previously marked stopping point--Today, I was lucky enough to begin chapter 4. I was touched as I read this sentence:

God loves you and all His children. He is anxious to support you in your practical and specific challenges. You have been promised inspiration to know what to do and have been given the power to do it.

Here was the answer I had been looking for on my nogoodhorriblebadday--An answer knowing I had Divine Help to conquer the impossible--that regardless of the events, papers, research projects and a pending thesis, God would guide me through it all. Why? Because I am His daughter, and any loving father is anxious to help his child.

Today, I was reminded that it is during the most stressful time in our lives that we need to give time to Heavenly Father, even if the time is as short as 30 minutes. I moan when I think I could have easily continued working.

Then, I remembered a woman who also paused in her day to look towards the heavens. Her name was Mary Magdalene. On a particular bad morning she was grieving the death of a very good friend, even Jesus Christ. She could have easily ignored the inner prompting to leave home and visit the the garden tomb; she could have proclaimed "I'll attend to the dishes, or help with a feast." However, instead, she separated herself from the world for a few short moments.

Her experience was miraculous. Upon entering the garden she found the tomb was empty. She started to cry, until she heard a voice, "Woman, why weepest thou?" (John 20: 15) As she turned toward the man's voice, she witnessed one of the greatest miracles of all time: Jesus Christ had risen.

As we approach the Easter season, let us remember that Jesus Christ rose on the third day. More importantly, let us follow the example of Mary to leave life's turmoils for a few short moments and turn our heads towards the heavens to discover miracles.

More Curses....

2010-03-22T13:38:00.003-06:00

Hey all,

You will never believe that my paradise trip was cursed again. I arrived at the airport on Saturday, happy to head back to the land of the free and the home of the brave. When I arrived at the airport, the line hardly moved. I really was not worried, until I saw person after person leave the desk frustrated. I began to wonder if my flight had been canceled.

My belief was confirmed when I arrived at the desk (after an hour of waiting). She informed me that I couldnt leave Belem until 6:30 that night, making it impossible to catch my international flight. Since I have traveled to Brazil before, I knew that international flights only leave at night, making it impossible for me to catch another plane that night in Sao Paulo--I would have been stuck. Therefore, I asked the representative if I could delay another day, so that I wouldnt have to spend an entire day in an international airport. Luckily the lady was nice enough to try to accomdate me.

We spent another hour trying to figure things out. As amazing as it may seem, the only available flight was Tuesday (tomorrow). UGH. All of a sudden, everything that I had planned to do when I arrived home went POOF*--to do lists, papers to write, work, etc.

So, peeps, Im heading home tomorrow. I hope Im not cursed again. Pray that all goes well!

Blessings of Brazil

2010-03-18T13:05:00.004-06:00

After complaining about my horrible airline experience, I thought I might share a little bit of the blessing it has been to be here in Brasil again.

#1: Brazil has reminded me of the power of sisterhood. I believe God intended women to become friends to help one another support the trials of life. As Joelma and I have spent endless hours talking about life and its joys and discomforts, I have been uplifted and inspired to become a better person. I have been reminded that no distance or years can separate true friends.

#2: My trip has taught me I need to enjoy life more. I love how Brazilians stop in the middle of the day to sit down together for lunch. After the meal, they do not run off to work or to study, instead they enjoy each others company. They laugh, talk and eat some more. I think I´ve learned once again that it is more important to enjoy the people around us, than to ensure everything on my ´to do´ list gets done.

#3: My travels have allowed me to serve. Last night an American Elder passed by Joelma´s house. As incredible as it may seem, I had brought extra packages of american food not knowing why. Im sure you can imagine this missionary´s happiness when I handed him a brownie mix, a faijta mix, brown sugar, and chocolate chips. He arrived tired and left smiling. Its amazing how through small and simple things, God blesses our lives.

#4: Brazil reminded me of inner beauty. On my second night here, I had the chance to do everyone´s hair using my hot rollers. Every lady left feeling more confident and more like a princess.

#5 Brazil helped me to remember that it doesnt matter our circumstance (single or married, rich or poor, American or Brazilian),God still loves us all. More importantly He helps us feel of his love by allowing us to have maravelous experiences. His tender mercies are all around us, and if we look more diligently for His Hand in our lives, we will feel more fulfilled and sastified with our lives.

Brazil has definitely been a blessing, and Im looking forward to seeing the beautiful United States once again.

The Family Curse

2010-03-13T08:30:00.003-07:00

Im not one to complain, but my current situation calls for some online murmuring. I am sitting at the Sao Paulo Airport. I am suppose to be on a plane headed for Belem; unfortunately, my USA flight decided to be 1.5 hours late, and I missed my flight by 5 minutes. Now, my 21 LONG travel hours just turned into 30.

Why the murmuring? I think my family is cursed with airline travel. Let me cite a couple examples to convince you of the reality of this horrible plague.

#1-When I was 18, I traveled to Michigan with my family to attend my brother´s wedding. When we arrived at the airport, the luggage with all the wedding apparel was missing.

#2 When I was 20, I traveled to Ohio to visit my brother and sister in-law. On the way back, Delta lost my luggage. They offered to deliver it to my house, and i agreed to it. My bag arrived at 3:00 a.m. in shreds. My steel curling iron was in halves and my pictures and scriptures needed ironing.

#3 When I was 22, my parents traveled to pick me up in Sao Paulo from the mission. They lost their flight by 2 minutes. When we went home, they cancelled our last flight.

Ah the joys of travel. Yet the funniest part is, I keep getting on airplanes. Because despite the trial that comes with airline travle, the blessing of visiting loved friends far out weighs the los baggage and cancelled flights.

Plus, its 90 degress outside, so how can I complain?

A Facelift of New Things

2010-01-05T20:33:00.004-07:00

I did it. I got a ~~face lift~~ room lift. I felt like it was appropriate for the new year. As soon as I got home from the holiday break, I switched my desk and my bed. My bed now sits on the south wall, and my desk on the north wall.

I'm excited for the changes my new room shall give me. For one, I no longer have to share the wall with my housemate, which gives me more independence. Plus, have you ever tried to go to asleep at night while your housemate and her boyfriend are whispering sweet nothings to one another? Its not on my recommend "Ten-Things-You-Should-Do-Before-You-Die" list. Especially when conversation stalls and the intermission of musical slurping starts. The visual image is not "G" rated.

In addition to the rearrangement, I bought new sheets and pillowcases--cute ones with poke-it-dots and stripes. They're light green, blue and brown. Housed in my pillowcases are two brand new pillows. I figured, new year, new sheets, new pillows. Sounds like a motivational book title :).

Still, my favorite part about my new room is the new hope and energy it has instilled within me. Its serving as a symbol of the new semester and a newer and happier life. Its going to be filled with independent walls and poke-it-dot crazy days.

Heck, my friend and I are even planning a cruise for the next new year. Boo-yah. I like new things :).

New Year - Endless Possibilities

2010-01-04T11:20:00.004-07:00

New Year = Excuse to think of anything and everything that maybe can happen in 2010.

On my top ten:

10-Go to Brazil (I've been in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, so why stop the tradition?)

9- Buy a place of my own--8 years of renting can really be taxing. Although I don't think my salary will allow for anything other than a tent in my parents back yard. :)

8- Get a cat. I admit it--I'm more of a cat person than a dog person. I like something warm and cuddly to curl up on my lap that does not drool. Cats are calming.

7- Trade in the practical small Honda Civic for a country-girl pick-up truck (sadly, my practical side can't justify it.

6- Lose the _____ # of pounds I put on from stress eating (you thought I was going to reveal that number?! Ha!). I did it in 2008, so why not this year?

5-Stop caring about grades. Wouldn't it just be wonderful to soak in the vastness of knowledge? To be able to progress through a semester never panicking about this paper or that quiz?

4- Be content to live in the present, without wondering "why?" about yesterday and "what if?" tomorrow.

3- Serve more

2-Love more

1- Be Happy :)

2009: A pain in my behind

2009-12-30T21:56:00.007-07:00

I caution all my readers, this post may contain too much pessimism, so read with caution.

The theme of 2009: A pain in my behind.

The year began in a pool of a most beloved country--Brazil.
I got sunburned. Do you know what it feels like to be on a plane for more than 14 hours with a bright red back?

January:Two weeks later I got some kind of stomach flu--I watched 18 hours of Lonesome Dove. Passed out on the couch. Ate crackers and drank Gatorade.

February: Applied for a job. Hopes high--good mullah--lady smashed hopes. Cried a lot.

March: I turned 25. Lost my health and car insurance. More bills

April: Big blur. Panic sets in for a new life.

May: I graduated from Utah State University--following my graduation, my family and I spent 2 hours searching through the dumpster for my little sister's clear plastic retainers (retail: $400).

Got into graduate school. I moved away from beautiful mountainous Cache Valley and my Dad lost his job.

Drove across the west to the mid-west: Utah, Colorado, Kansas (loved it), Oklahoma.

June:I started an amazing life in Oklahoma. (No sarcasm here--love Oklahoma...)

July: Get kicked out of my apartment by new tenant. Have no place to live.

August:I met ~~my dream~~ cowboy. He took me to meet his horse. He asked for my number. I was on cloud nine. The next day the Relief Society President was on my doorstep. He was married. Cloud hit by lightening. Now he dates a girl the same age as my little sister. (7 year difference :) )

September: Called Martin Harris. Worked an 60 hour week.

October: Roommate started dating--boy spends the night. Roommate blows up at me--I'm judgemental. Other roommate has a liquor party.

November: Wrote three 15-page papers. Two in one week. Cried a lot. Gained 15 pounds since June.

December:Traveled from Missouri, to Kansas, to Oklahoma, to Utah in 24 hours. Met my loving parents at the airport. Saw beautiful mountains, snow, rural streets and familiar faces.

Rode in my rusty-red truck to Logan. Played with friends. Cried some more.

Came home, got the flu on Dec 23.
Flu got worse, sniffles and hacking began.
Visited the doctor Dec 28--Have bronchitis.
Hacked all the way to Arizona to visit family.

Summary: 2009 was a pain in my behind. Call me a pessimist.

Surgeon General Warning: Graduate School

2009-11-10T21:38:00.007-07:00

I am about three weeks away from finishing up my second (really first hard) semester of graduate school. When I began the semester I had no idea what a literature review was, nor did I believe I was capable of writing one. I had never done a research critique, nor thought about semiotics; however, in about four months I have learned how to do it all.

Still, I pose a warning to all those that are thinking about graduate school, and I do so in a scholarly manner.

Observe picture one below: this picture was taken in around the beginning of September 2008. I had just started the beginning of my senior year at Utah State University. My skin is vibrant, my eyes twinkle and my smile has a genuineness about it. I had an inner confidence and assurance that I could do anything; I was content with life.

Now observe picture two below: this picture was taken 5 minutes ago. Although it has been a little over a year, one can tell the toll this past year has had on me. The bags under my eyes reveal the overexposure to reading research articles, sometimes more than 50 pages long; the wrinkles above my eyes have been enhanced from too much contemplation. While the zits on my face reveal the stress associated with deciding to go to graduate school, moving states, cultures, and universities. It's interesting to note a couple of weeks ago I had the Rocky Mountains on my forehead and the Alps on my chin. Still, my favorite is the cute line of chubbiness that is hard to hide--the documentation of my preferred pastime: stress eating on chocolate and salty snacks.

My Conclusion: They should put a surgeon general warning on your graduate applications.

You're There...

2009-10-22T14:16:00.007-06:00

In the ordinary aspects of life:

When I wake up
As I walk to class
While I sit at my desk

You're there...

As I seek to do the things I love to relax:

Horseback ride
Drive
Read

You're there...

When I attend the things that make me think:

Church
School
Work

You're there...

Thanks.

17 Pounds

2009-10-16T12:17:00.006-06:00

Don't worry, this post isn't a musing over weight loss; although 17 pounds would be nice to lose :).

Instead, 17 pounds refers to the weight limit the Mormon Pioneers had when they crossed the plains by handcart. This included pots, pans, blankets, clothes and special possessions (music boxes, inherited vases, china, etc).

A description of this experience from Gerald Lund's novel, Fire of the Covenant, touched my heart as I was reading it last night:

"Maggie had known about the seventeen-pound limit before they ever left Scotland. She thought she had culled out everything that she could bear to leave behind. But now as she eyed the two stacks she had mad--one for discard, one for taking--the one looked pitifully small, the other unbelieveably large. Taking a deep breath, she started through the larger stack one more time. Out went her favorite dress. She had bought a year ago, one of the few times she had spent her wages on herself...after another five minutes of agonizing, it came down to two things. There was a brass looking glass that James [her boyfriend] had given her for Christmas last year...or the plain wooden music box, a gift from her
decesased father."
As Maggie went to weigh her things "The scales reversed with a heavy thud. The pan with the weights swung slowly back and forth in the air. The other pan rested heavily on the ground" revealing the weight of her precious possesions was too high. "She reached for the handle of the looing glass and pulled it out
from between her clothing. For a moment she thought the scales might come in balance. The lower pan lifted for a moment, but then hung silently about an inch above the ground." She was still too heavy. "Her shoulders lifted and fell, but without hestitations she reached out and took off the music box. The scales did not come into perfect alignment but the weigher declared, "that's enough."

Could you imagine traveling thousands of miles from Scotland, giving up your native land, home, friends and family; and then sitting on the edge of the wilderness and told, "No, you cannot take the precious music box your father gave to you."

Oftentimes, I believe we think we know what it means to sacrifice. Yet, after reading this story I have realized sacrifice means more than giving of your time and talents. More importantly, sacrifice is to give up the things you love the most, to obtain the greater unseen things God has for you.

It's never easy, but always worth it.

Culture

2009-10-13T14:23:00.004-06:00

Experiencing culture...who defines it? what makes it a true culture?

Perception. Interpretation. Context. Meaning.

During my communication theories class today we examined the barriers often imposed because of culture. The poor say there are too many rich, the rich say there are too many poor--the whites have too much power, the blacks too little. Men work, women work and then cook, clean, etc....

Or so they say. Who says? They: a generic grouping of people who we blame life's confusions on--an answer as easy to give as blinking subconsciously.

My answer however is different, and its my question to the world:

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO LET PEOPLE JUST BE PEOPLE?

From my international experience in Brazil, I realized people are different but very much the same. Parents still worry about their kids, teenagers are well versed in the latest movies and bands, church leaders are worried about helping their congregations become better individuals.

I guess whenever I hear these defining attributes of this or that, I am sadden because it pulls us away from our true identities. Paul said in the New Testament, "The Spirit itself bearth witness with our spirit that we are the children of God."

That includes all the people on earth--we're family, brothers and sisters. God is our Father, we are His children. Such a view brings a greater light and hope to a stereotypical world and banishes the heartless "they" syndrome.

The fact of the matter is, it is also better to listen and to seek to understand, then to pass judgement and be indifferent.

Just a truthful thought for ya'll.

To Be or Not to Be:

2009-10-12T15:59:00.002-06:00

SELFISH

1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

Since President Monson's amazing What Have I Done for Someone Today talk, I have found myself in the realization of how easy it is to become selfish in day to day activities:

Get up
Eat Breakfast
Go to Work
Study for School
Go Home
Eat
Sleep

Yet the truthful thought of such a lifestyle is that is it ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE. Such a life is lived with no motive, love or desire for good.

Consider the following scenarios:

An honor student with an notable GPA claims the Summa Cum Laude award vs. an honor student who helps his/her friend pass a chemistry test.

An employee who is concerned about getting to the top vs. an employee who seeks to build up a positive work environment by fostering good employee relations

A Christian who knows of Christ vs. a Christian who lives a Christlike life.

You see, selfishness is a result of a natural tendency to live life, "just because." President Monson said, "We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes."

I have found that life have so much more meaning when it is spent in the service of others. I love the scripture found in Proverbs 3:27

"Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it."

So the question becomes, to Be or Not to Be:

CHARITABLE

Utah Fall vs. Oklahoma Fall Weather

2009-09-30T12:46:00.006-06:00

Sorry Utah, but you defintely lose this battle.

For all those who are traveling to General Conference in Salt Lake City, make sure you pack your thermals. As for me, I'm going to enjoy my t-shirts and horseback rides for another couple of months. Not to mention the beautiful greenery and trees that are all around me.

It just made me smile

2009-09-02T08:22:00.002-06:00

Languages can be goofy especially when the same word means something totally different in another language. For example, when we are embarassed by our language skills in Mexico we may want to claim we are"embarazada" only to figure out we just told everyone we're pregnant.

However, as odd as it may appear the word "fart" has many different meanings. While I was a missionary in Brazil, I encountred "fartou" meant "filled." I was sitting in a lesson with some people and we were talking about Christ instituting the sacrament among his disciples. While the topic was sacred, I must admit I got the inside giggles when I read, "They ate the bread and water" and "fartarm (were filled)."

So today, I refer you to one of my dear companion's blogs. She's living in Denmark right now and learning that "fart" means "speed" in danish. Who Knew? Check out some of the goofy signs she found there, they are good for a laugh.

I am going Green...but not in the way you think.

2009-08-25T15:03:00.003-06:00

On the Green Mountain Flyer
Originally uploaded by TubaOrNotTuba

Going Green is too often associated with the "SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT!" clause that has seemed to reincarnate itself from the kumbaya nature movement in the sixities. While there are many principles I agree with the new earth conscious environment, I am a bit annoyed that they have "pattened" the color green for all their advertisements, clauses and movements.

For me, growing up with Green meant something completely different--it was connected to the missionary term of being a greeny. Simply defined, a greeny is that innocent young man or woman that hasn't got a clue of what his missionary experience holds for him; from the discovery of a new culture (be it Brasil or Washington D.C.) to the communication conflicts with a companion.

Yet to me, being a greeny can also mean standing at the bottom of a huge mountain of expectations. Any green missionary knows the expectations of an "honorable returned missionary" are high; and looking up (or forward) to two long years it seems impossible to accomplish such a task.

Such a principle has applied to me as I am beginning of graduate school. I see the endless potential of learning new things, making a difference through my assistantship and organizational involvement; and then, I feel as if its impossible to make it to the end of it alive, and I turn green.

However, life's experiences have taught me that it is the small and simple things one does every day that gets you to the top of the mountain. I love the parable of the train tracks that President Gordon B. Hinckley mentioned years ago in discourse. He described an experience a passenger train had when it arrived in Newark, New Jersey without the baggage car. Sadly, the reasoning behind the lost baggage was a three-inch switch that had not been properly flipped, resulting in a 1300 mile distance between the passangers in New Jersey and the baggage in Lousiana.

Such examples make me muse over the changes in life. For big changes in our life can result in the three inches that will help us reach New Jersey or sadly dump us off at Louisana.

Effort. Diligence. Strategy. Accuracy. Dedication--With such demands, no wonder I am going green.

The medicine I needed.

2009-08-22T21:11:00.002-06:00

Beware of a Flat-Tired Bandwagon

2009-08-21T11:29:00.008-06:00

Current media seems to be full of pledges, petitions and regulations; it seems like everyone is searching to become part of the GREATER cause. However with the fervor in the air, one might want to check the research for validty.

For example, I read the following story on Facebook today, and verified it later on snopes.com and found the article listed below on theburningbiscuit.com:

"A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since:

it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
it is a major component in acid rain
it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
accidental inhalation can kill you
it contributes to erosion
it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious."

Do society a favor, be the one person smart enough to identify hoax petitions and causes. Living is hard enough without having to wade through a road full of flat-tired bandwagons.

Perspective Paperclips

2009-08-19T08:46:00.003-06:00

Iron Chef Photography Paperclip Entry
Originally uploaded by jlbaynard

One never knows when a lesson will come back to bite you.

About a week ago I was surrounded by trees, students and the humid air of Oklahoma. While I was there Terry, a leadership facilitator, handed me a simple piece of wire in the form of a paperclip. He challenged me along with the group to be creative and bend the wire into a desirable shape. In 30 seconds, I turned my paperclip into a U. Other students made hearts, fish hooks, boxes, ninja weapons, etc.

Since that day I have reflected on the lesson of the wire and its application to our ordinary lives. How often do we define wire as a paperclip without noting its true potential?

For example, a person with a huge house can be labeled as glutenous. We see pretty model girls as high maintenance models who would rather put on lipstick than open a book.

However, recently my thoughts have turned to the labels we place on individuals whose marriages have failed. Divorce? Is it just another wire in disguise? While I believe there are many marriages that could and should be saved by adopting the "we" clause and forgetting the "I" that fosters selfishness, I am also learning of the pain of those abandoned by a spouse. You see there are so many in society that we label as "selfish" and "not good enough" or "strong enough" to save their marriage.

Yet there is another perspective. John Bytheway once said, marriage is like playing a duet on the piano, it takes two willing people dedicated to practicing the piece together. However, what do you do when your partner decides to exit during the second movement? It is impossible to continue the piece alone; and on the same note these individuals full of pain are stereotyped as paperclips.

I guess my plea today is to reexamine past judgments. As Terry our facilitator said, "Allow someone else to define who they are." Or as the Lord said to Samuel, "Look not on his countenance, or the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

Whether the person be divorced, rich, beautiful, poor, of a different culture or just plain weird, look upon their heart and discover the potential wire within.

To the Class of 2009

2009-08-16T20:44:00.006-06:00

In honor of the many freshman around the world who are starting the first year of college I offer some words of advice.

Sleep:
As I am entering into my seventh year of college, I have finally discovered nothing productive happens after 11 pm. While watching movies and eating chocolate all night with your roommates is fun, save it for the weekend. It will save your GPA and thousands of dollars in scholarship money.

Get involved:
While having a date with the library each night can lead to academic success, it can also become monotonous. Schedule some time to get involved with a club or organizational that you are passionate about. This will lead to successful networking, good friends and maybe even a perfect job.

Be Grateful:
Many people around the world would die for an opportunity like yours. Use it wisely.

Ask Questions:
No one can be saved in ignorance. Questions are the key to knowledge and your professors can be a spring full of knowledge. Be willing to show curiosity. Challenge ideas, argue with your text books and search for truth.

Remember who you are and be true to yourself:
Oftentimes we place on identity on our environment; in fact, most of the time we are tempted to mold ourselves to become more like those around us. While some change is good, like exchanging of recipes, the way you clean the bathroom or vacuum the floor, be aware of the change which threatens to steal your identity. If you are a the country girl who loves sheep and ponies be willing to admit it; it your a punk rocker and everyone loves country, play your music loudly (but respectly). The sooner you learn to be YOU the better college experience you will have.

Serve Others:
If there are 38 people on your floor, repeat the same phrase a wise man taught me my freshman year, "I am number 38." While your life might be stressful and your classes difficult, I guarantee there will be someone down the hall who is struggling more than you are. Be aware of those who may be extremely homesick, depressed or lonely. Be their friend and make them cookies.

Learn how to Pray:
I once heard that a college testing center is the most sacred building on all college campuses because of the amount of prayers offered within. While some are offered in desperation because of lack of study time, others are offered sincerely by those who understand the Author of all truth. There will be times in your college career that you feel like you just cannot do it; At these times I challenge you to petition Heavenly Father for his help. For he has commanded us all to "seek learning by study and also by faith." From experience I have come to learn that oftentimes the best student in not the one with a 4.0, rather a successful student in the one who learns how to access the Author of all truth for guidance, knowledge and wisdom.

My best of luck to all of you as you embark on this new phase of life.

Raindrops Falling on my Head

2009-08-06T09:34:00.004-06:00

Raining....
Originally uploaded by Pieter Musterd

Growing up in Utah, I thought rain was a rare occurrence. Generally if there was anything falling out of the sky it was "white stuff" Bambi described. Sadly, I spent more than 20 years of my life believing a good rain storm lasted 30 minutes.

To capture the experience of a Utahan discovering an actual rainstorm for the first time, I have created the following dialogue:

Non-Utahan: Looks like it might rain today, don't you think you should take your umbrella?
Utahan: Umbrella, what for? I've got my ball cap. I'll be okay

(rain begins)

Utahan: (wet) Man! It is really coming down out here!
Non-Utahan: Nah, this is just a good sprinkling.

(pouring begins)

Utahan: (soaked) Shouldn't the National Weather Service be issuing a exvacuation plan?
Non-Utahan: What?! Why?!
Utahan: The streets are flooding, doesn't that constitute a monsoon or something?
Non-Utahan: Flooding? Monsoon? Are you kidding me, that's just a big puddle.
Utahan: A puddle?! Its the size of Lake Powell; somebody could drown in there.

(30 minutes pass, pouring continues)

Utahan: (really soaked) Shouldn't the storm be over by now?
Non-Utahan: I don't think this one is leaving soon, the forecast said it would be here all day.
Utahan: All day?! What is this place, Noah's pre-ark practice field?

(Utahan becomes miserable, the rain drips from her face)

Non-Utahan: Are you sure you don't want to share my umbrella?
Utahan: I thought you'd never ask. Monsoons can be rough on the baseball cap.

(Non-Utahan smiles. Another Utahan has discovered REAL rain.)

Fire Under Your Chair

2009-08-04T23:54:00.006-06:00

Chair on Fire
Originally uploaded by Keeton C

I met a banker the other week who exclaimed motivational conferences are great for "lighting fires under your rears that wear off in seven days." I laughed and nodded at the time but hardly recognized the deepness of his sentence until I attended the Agricultural Media Summit Conference in Fort Worth, Texas.

During my stay at the conference I had the opportunity to listen to two motivational speakers during two different luncheons. One lady talked about her five biggest mistakes in her life and a man talked about how to differentiate yourself. I have to admit most of their material was good. They made me smile, laugh and think in 30 minutes; however, seven hours later (I didn't even make it a day) I am having a hard time remembering what they said.

However, during this conference I did have an epiphany: People matter, its that simple.

Still, people oftentimes do not feel like they matter. So for a short time at a conference a person is paid to tell another how WONDERFUL they are and how much they can CHANGE the world. For a few short minutes the person feels EMPOWERED and MOTIVATED; only to revert back to themselves seven days later.

So what is it that lights a true fire, one that is not found under our rear but rather in our hearts?

I believe a true spark is only ignited when we turn the fire away from ourselves and focus it on others. In a sense fire was never intended to serve itself. It was created to bring comfort and warmth on cold winter days. Each one of us often encounters a blizzard night full of trial, doubt or uncertainty. Yet, how many of us are willing to be the warm fire for someone else during their wintery night? Provide a shoulder to cry on? Tell a friend we love them no matter what they have done, are doing or will do? Loving unconditionally, having charity lights the real fire.

The Savior said it best in Mark, "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it."

The solutions to life's problems are not found with the fire people try to light under your rear. Rather they are found with the fire people make in each others' hearts; "for charity never faileth" it warms through eternity.

Wheaties For Breakfast

2009-07-23T10:46:00.003-06:00

Its amazing that one box of cereal had so much success in its day; when I was kid, a bowl of wheaties for breakfast ensured athletic victory. However, as dazzling as the success seemed I always preferred the magical Lucky Charms or the Trix "that was just for kids."

Today, as an adult, I realize why Wheaties--a cereal higher in fiber--is a better choice for breakfast. What one eats in the morning, sets the tone and the mood for the day. For example, yesterday I woke up and ate Mini-Wheats with milk and a fresh peach. I arrived at work motivated to write profiles, study statistics and do anything else necessary.

This morning, was a completely different story. I overslept (first mistake), and then opted for crescent rolls for breakfast (I will not admit how many). Since the flakey-butter fattening bread did not completely fill the tank, I opted for some chocolate pudding. Although it was good at the time, the side effects have made me tired and lazy. Honestly, I feel like curling up like a kitten and sleeping the day away.

Its amazing how choice affects everything in life--even when it comes to breakfast.

My Life Is Like a Pearl Necklace

2009-07-18T23:02:00.003-06:00

Pearl Wreath - Pearl necklace with ribbons
Originally uploaded by Bunny_Nikisha

The following story rings true in my life; I think it offers great wisdom.

The Pearl Necklace Story

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.

On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

What are you hanging on to?

--- Author Unknown

It has been my experience that the Lord often requires that we give up what we love the most, so that we can gain something we desire more. Too often we hang onto comfort, familiarity, and ease without giving thought to the tribulation, change and discomfort that bring us closer to Him above. He asks us to give Him our cheap pearl necklaces so that we can experience the real pearl necklace life: one full of true happiness and joy; however, such joy does not come without an abiding trust. Proverbs 3:4-5 says it all.

Modern Day Miracles

2009-07-09T07:46:00.008-06:00

A miracle is defined as “an event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God” according to dictionary.com.

Miracles happen all around us; most we of them we note are the ones with high press time: a tornado that turned just before it hit a church, or a person who slammed their car into another and survived.

While these miracles are noteworthy of our attention, I love to pay attention to the small miracles that happen every day.

Recently, I traveled to Yukon, Oklahoma to attend the beautiful Oklahoma City Temple. I left work a little early so I could arrive on time; however in my haste to leave I forgot to secure the cap on my water bottle. Soon my backpack became the mini-version of Lake Erie. By the time I figured it out, the contents in my bag including my cell phone were drenched. Although I was frustrated by the whole deal, my mind was on getting to Yukon. So I grabbed my cell phone and got on the road.

Once again, however, my haste proved to be a trial. I didn’t print off the directions to the temple because I figured I could call my friend if I got lost; but when I opened up my cell phone it started speaking Numeric Greek:

8484 # 8329nf

5152 3513 19 08539 0215
58949735 895135

The screen went berserk. It jumped from contacts, to messaging, to my calendar, to the web—it was as if it had a search warrant for itself.

I tried my best to fix it. I pulled the battery out, held it up to the air conditioner in hopes to dry things out; I even slammed it against my steering wheel with the old farmer-fix-it trick. Still, I had no success—Strike One.

My biggest problem with my cell phone breaking is I had no way of contacting my friend in Oklahoma City; I didn’t even have her number, I had no idea where she lived, and I could hardly remember the way temple. I pulled off in Edmond, hoping to find a Verizon Wireless dealer, only to discover they do not exist in Central Oklahoma—Strike Two.

Then I got lost—Strike Three. I must have pulled off the Kilpatrick Turnpike three different times at the wrong exit; and by that time I was ready to Kill-Patrick (whoever he was).

I said a silent prayer in essence of, Heavenly Father I just want to get to Thy House.

Miraculously, the next exit I took was the right one. I pulled into the temple’s parking lot five minutes after my prayer and offered another of gratitude.

However, I still had a problem; I needed to contact my friend. I tried to use my phone again, but when I called her, my phone insisted on talking to her; it wouldn’t stop beeping, so we had no way of communicating. By this time, my screen was fogging up from the moisture captured inside.

Poor Kathleen was getting just as frustrated as I was; she tried calling me from three different phones. Luckily, I was able to find another phone and call her back and explain the situation. After we connected by phone, my second miracle happened.

As I was waiting for Kathleen to come and get me for dinner, I was trying to strategize how I would pay for a new phone. I believed in the blessing of paying my tithing, so I knew the Lord would provide. As I was contemplating, I looked down and the screen on my phone was clear. Curiously, I opened it up and I was able to navigate perfectly from contacts, to messaging to tools. My phone literally just snapped out of it.

Once more, I offered a prayer of gratitude. God had given me two miracles.

Heading to California, But Ending Up in New York

2009-07-07T10:22:00.013-06:00

What are you going to be when you grow up?

Good question,

A veternarian when I was little; that was until I saw my dog have puppies, and I lost my lunch.

A school teacher. I believe because of the good influences my teachers had in my life. Who wouldn't want to be the next Mrs. Beck, Mr. White, Ms. Hansen, Mrs. Brotherson and Mr. Black? Yet, somehow that didn't seem to pan out.

The world's next motivational speaker. Who doesn't want to change the world one speech at a time? I spent some time as a FFA State Officer and had the change to fulfill this dream to an extent, but it ended there.

A seminary instructor. I could teach hundreds of youth about the gospel--I opted to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Or, ALL OF THE ABOVE--Agricultural Communicator. A degree that encompasses communication, education and motivation with continuning diversity. That's what I want to be when I grow up.

On a given day as an agricultural communicator, I could be in the fields talking it up with a rancher or a veternarian and the next day headed to a professional development conference on Web development. I can teach fellow colleagues about the latest environmental policy or AP Style trend. Mostly I can motivate others to support local agriculture and rural development.

So you see, I always new I wanted to grow up to be something, and in a matter of fact my field of study lets me do everything; still, how I set out for California and ended up in New York, only the Heavens above know.

And yet, the sky is the limit and in Oklahoma the sky goes on for miles without end.

The Other Woman Moved In...

2009-06-24T13:24:00.006-06:00

My journey to Oklahoma has been adventurous. I have managed to switch jobs, universities, made new friends--the works.

Before I moved here, I was a little worried about getting new roommates. For its one thing to meet new people, its another to have to meet them and be their roommate the same day. What if you do not like the same type of cheese? Or what if she is a vegetarian and you like to bring home Oklahoma barbecue?

When I met Jordyn and Fred, I knew we were going to be instant buddies. Jordyn is a sweet-tempered, buffy-lovin girl. As soon as I saw her, I knew she was the perfect type of roommate for me. We both love spaghetti, McFlurry's and Reba.

About two weeks after Jordyn and I became roommates, she introduced me to our third roommate, Fred. He is a Westie whose slowly turning me into a medium dog-lover. He has a gentile temperament and he hardly barks, unless Jordyn and I start howling, then he has to join in the fun. He almost breaks my heart every day with his poutful stare when I put him back into his kennel; still he never complains.

Most experts say its takes a little as 30 seconds to make a good impression. Well, I believe such a statement is true. I fell in love with Jordyn and Fred the instant I saw them.

Today, however, I was introduced to the fourth roommate--Karli. In the first 30 seconds I met her, I knew she was a spaz--a running, jumping, panting kind of woman who does not even jump off the bull after an eight-second-ride spaz. I think I will have to hire her as my personal trainer. There is perks to all roommates, right?

My Kindess Shall Not Depart From Thee

2009-06-18T12:44:00.003-06:00

It is a truthful thought, what more can I say?

Confession of Geek Genes

2009-06-16T10:25:00.004-06:00

Year Two, Day 12: Super Nerd!
Originally uploaded by Brymo

Okay, I admit it. I am full of geek genes. There is something about learning new knowledge that is invigorating. Still, I have always been the kind of person to hide my inner geekiness. Although I read frequently, I generally do it in my room with a closed door, and library trips are often just described as “I’m going to campus for a couple of hours.”

If one was to check my internet browse history he/she would find frequent visits to dictionary.com (but never when anyone is looking, of course), farm facts pages and current news sites.

Still, until recently I was able to keep my geek genes in check. Generally people associated me with the “people-pleaser” or the “entertainer;” but when I started a new job, I was asked to take a personality profile quiz called StrengthQuest. Any guesses on my top strength?

L-E-A-R-N-E-R

WHAT?! It is out in the open people. I love to learn, I am a proud geek. Call me Artemis. StrengthsQuest is absolutely correct when stated the following about me: “you get a thrill out of learning new facts, beginning a new subject, and mastering an important skill. Learning builds your confidence.”

It is true—learning does build my confidence. I love to figure out html coding for Web design, try out a new writing strategy in journalism or design a newsletter in Adobe InDesign. I even admit I am enjoying the challenge of my graduate statistics course. When I opened the book and saw the complicated formulas, I thought I would faint; however, as I have applied myself to learn the material I have found a new confidence. I can learn statistics and I love that.

Such statement is a testimony to my new found strength. A learner “enjoys the process of learning as much as you actually learn—perhaps even more.”

So people, it is not that I actually am a geek, I just love learning how to become a geek. Phew, my secret is safe.

Oops!

2009-06-10T15:43:00.003-06:00

oops
Originally uploaded by estherase

I have a reputation for experiencing big "Oops" moments within the first few weeks of a job. While these moments can be stressful at the time they happen, I am learning to sit back and laugh when they do.

My first BIG job (a.k.a. I felt responsible) was changing irrigation pipes for my dad on our sheep farm. As a sophomore in high school, I was ready to prove to my dad that I could be as good as my brothers. The first day, I had to transfer about 22 pipes from one field to another. My father gave me farmer instructions—never full of details—the night before, “take the line from Parnell’s and put it on the center riser of the grain.” So I did. I packed every sprinkler line individually to the center of the field. I thought it strange, but I wanted to follow my dad’s instructions. For those not familiar with irrigation pipes, the customary way to set up the line is to start from one far end of the field to the other. Needless to say, my dad was not very happy with me that evening and I had the opportunity to pack them again to the far side of the field.

Still, the first day was only the beginning of my adventures. On the second day, I decided to drive on a muddy, recently irrigated trail to check an end plug. To make sure I didn’t get stuck, I gunned the gas to get to the end of the field. Sadly, my plans did not extend past the end of the field. After checking the end plug, I went to turn the truck around and sunk into the mud. “Oh crud,” were my exact thought at the time. I tried to get out, but my attempts were useless. I buried the truck to the door, then called my dad. He had to pull out the John Deere Tractor and chains to get me out.

Two bad days, I could not afford one more. I wanted this job. The third day things went smoothly. I changed my lines and met my friend Rachel at her line. She reported to me that she couldn’t get her sprinklers to turn on. In my farm-girl pride, I thought “I’ll show her tough.” I turned the valve handled hard and suddenly water equal to Niagara Falls hit my face. Rachel forgot to clip the valve on the riser and as a result it was blown off by the water pressure. I was soaked. She was soaked. Dad was going to kill me.

I knew I had to face dad one more time. So soaked and covered in mud, Rachel and I got on the four-wheeler and drove to my dad’s office. I thought the secretary would wet herself when I asked for my dad. We were a sight, but dad was prepared. After I told him what happened, he pulled out his jeans, sprinkler boots and a wrench. When we arrived at the farm, dad waded in, and turned the riser off. With water dripping off his face, he looked at me and said, “Tamra are you sure you want this job?”

Since that day I had no problems on the farm with sprinkler pipes.
Today, it is a different story. I was trying to formulate a mass email to send to more than 200 companies. Jami, the office secretary, and I decided to send a test message; however, we hit the wrong button and sent an incomplete email to all of our company contacts—OOPS! Still, I am happy I have made my first mistake. I like feeling human.

What about you? What kind of oops moments have you had in the work place?

New Cheese

2009-06-03T14:28:00.007-06:00

Anyone familiar with the book Who Moved my Cheese by Spencer Johnson will understand my title. Basically the concept of book observes four different characters and their individual reactions to change. New cheese is a respresentation of change and new opportunities.

For me change stands for "Could Have Another Nice Gut-wrenching Experience." So it will not surprise anyone that my life has taken a huge change within the past month. I have moved from rocky mountains to wind-whistling plains; with the BIG move I have changed jobs, cultures, and universities.

With a new place most things in life tend to become transparent, like the cheese. Although core values remain constant within, external perceptions change with different environments. At the local IFA Country Store I was known as the upbeat, agriculture communication major with a stubborn connection with symmetry and color balance with shelf display. At church, I was known as "Tamra with a Camera" the person that took all the pictures; to others I was known as their best friend.

So point blank truthful thought: the hardest part of my "Could Have Another Nice Gut-wrenching Experience" is not the wonderful aspect of discovering more talents and enjoying awesome classes, its the journey through a new identity which comes with the discovery of new relationships.

Yes, Yes, I know you're all thinking, but you LOVE people and you are so good a meeting them; still, new relationships take time to build. I am enthusiastic about the small foundations I have built this week; I have great hopes they will yield a bountiful harvest of love and memories.

But for now, I just have to slowly color in the lines to make my new cheese bright.

Just in Case you need a Laugh

2009-05-10T11:44:00.004-06:00

Soulmate, This is for you...

2009-05-07T20:33:00.002-06:00

"I won't worry my life away"

That's the perfect words to describe today. I was sitting in the Manti temple this morning thinking of the huge changes that about to hit my life in the next couple of weeks. I am going to move far away from my family, my horse, my friends, my beautiful mountains and my temple. Life is looking up.

Still, as I was trying to swallow this like a horse pill, I glanced at my siblings itunes playlist to find an 'ole favorite of mine, Remedy by Jason Mraz. My old roomate Jenny and I used to scream this song at the top of our lungs while driving down University Avenue in Provo, Utah.

It has some inspiring words for me in the my life right now:

1-I won't worry my life away
2-I will shine the light on my friends, when it all amounts to nothing; because I love them wherever they may be.
3-When I fall in Love, I take my time (hint, hint, 25 and still going strong)
4-Wherever I go, "I am still going to shine"

The fact is, there is nothing as constant as change in our lives, so we just have to learn how to bite the bullet, and sing at the top of our lungs, no matter how old we get.

I Bleed Blue...Always.

2009-04-17T23:33:00.004-06:00

My FFA Jacket
Originally uploaded by HHS Class of "83"

The famous saying at Brigham Young University was: "I bleed blue" at Utah State University its "Go Blue or Go Home"

I always feel pride when I'm dressed in the deep navy blue color. However, this color comes from a deep love for an organization I gained many years ago--The National FFA Organization.

The organizational mission is "to make a positvie difference in the lives of students by developing their potential for premier leadership, personal growth and career success through agricultural education."

During my years as a FFA member, I developed skills in public speaking and leadership. I learned proper etiquette and how to be a strong member of a team. FFA taught me that I could dream, work and accomplish.

Sadly, today there are many critics of FFA and other vocational programs. Some claim vocational education is outdated and should leave our school systems. I disagree. For I believe classes like sewing, cooking, welding, animal science and others are needed more in our school. For they teach the principles of self-reliance and practicality.

Maybe its time to return to the simple things in life. Why not include practicality into our lives while we are quoting Hamlet, or figuring out Einstein's law of relativity? Or might we consider it ironic that our CEOs can crunch numbers but when they lose a button they have to buy a new shirt. Mostly, let us remember that such skills as quoting poetry or crunching numbers shall be nothing if we cannot feed or clothe ourselves by using pratical skills.

Has America come so far in the line of progression, that we have forget the simplicity that helps us prosper?

I know I have not forgotten the power of practicality I learned through vocational education. I shall always bleed blue, although it may have some Cougar and Aggie blue mixed in, my true blue will always be national blue, the color that represents the National FFA Organization. An organization that helped me develop premier leadership, personal growth and career sucess.

God vs. Man

2009-03-27T12:00:00.001-06:00

BIG:
Man: 6'7"
God: Mt. Everest

RICH:
Man: 1 Trillion Dollars
God: Worlds without Number

SMART:
Man: PhD
God: Omniscient

BEAUTIFUL WOMEN:
Man: size 0, blond, curvy and sexy
God: Virtuous, Intelligent and Nurturing

LOVE:
Man: Gives a ring
God: Gave His Son

Follow the Advice of the Song....

2009-03-26T21:42:00.007-06:00

You know, there are far too many critics out there that depise country music. They claim the music is just good for losing your dog, truck and girlfriend. I disagree.

Most days, I gain strength from the inspirational messages found in some country songs. I can hum, Angels Among us by Alabama when I need a little reassurance. Another song, Some of God's Greastest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks reminds me that a Creator is in control, and I should trust in Him to give me of the things I need, WHEN I need them, because He knows best.

However, lately, a song by Lady Antebellum has resonated with my soul, called I Run. This song describes the importance of relying on one another during difficult and stressful times. Although "this world keeps spinning faster, towards a new disaster" all I have to do is I run to you. Who is you? My family and friends. All I have to do is ask for help and then RUN.

Close to a hymn, eh?

2009-03-15T19:37:00.003-06:00

Any guesses to where I will be going next Fall?

I woke up with this song in my head the other day, and figured, what the heck...Oklahoma, here I come.

Go Cowboys!

Spring Break--Logan

2009-03-09T18:51:00.005-06:00

And people wonder why I never get excited about Spring Break.

Need I say more? I woke up to this.

Food Triggered Memories

2009-03-08T14:56:00.010-06:00

As I thought about what to make for lunch today, I had an overwhelming craving come over me to eat macaroni and cheese. Maybe its the fact that my roommates are all traveling for spring break and I am home alone. It seems as if the fattening yellow noodles ooze with comfort and memories.

Eating macaroni and cheese was something I used to do all the time while visiting my favorite Grandma Day. After mixing the masterpiece, she would sprinkle my mac and cheese with pepper to give it a little more spunk--just like her. During lunch we would chat about her and Grandpa Day's love story; or any story from her lifetime.

Macaroni and Cheese has also been the fly on the wall during many long friendship conversations. Over a bowl of mac and cheese I spilled my guts about my secret crushes and frustrations. Other days I have laughed so hard until my macaroni and cheese wanted to take flight across the room like a NASA rocket ship.

Macaroni and Cheese taught me that quality (Kraft) is worth a good investment, over cheap (Western Family) and a horrible supper. It also taught me as a sophomore in college you do not leave your roommate unattended to make homemade macaroni and cheese--for the burning smell can take weeks to wear off.

It is no wonder, I have overwhelming cravings for mac a cheese--its just my stomach telling my heart that I miss the people in whom I used to share it with. So whether they be in Spring City, Texas, New York, Brazil, Wisconsin or Heaven, they need not to worry, for I have my mac and cheese to remind me of them.

The Solution to Life's Problems--Get a Boyfriend

2009-03-05T23:53:00.008-07:00

I think my friends and relatives have found the solution to all life's problems--Get a boyfriend. Amidst all my murmurings and complaints about life's trials, its amazing how much the subject of dating finds its way into our conversations.

Me: I'm frustrated because I cannot find a job.
Sister: Have you been on a date lately?

Me: What do you think about graduate school?
Friend: I think you will be married within the next year.

Me: I need to go for a horseback ride.
Friend: Have you thought about taking a hot boy with you?

Me: Can you give me a massage?
Sister: That's what boyfriends are for.

However, my truthful thought on Friday night is:
Me: What should I do tonight? Dude, I wish I had a boyfriend.

Uma Segunda Chance

2009-02-02T22:47:00.004-07:00

Uma segunda chance, means a second chance.

I was recently touched by a quote President Thomas S. Monson made in a CES Fireside. He said, most things in life require a second effort. As I sat in bed tonight, I felt like I needed to give a second effort in answering two questions I received in a job interview today. So I decided to blog about them.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

A bold question--one must first analyze, where was I 5 years ago? BYU. I was a frustrated sophomore trying to decide what I should major in, and what the purpose of my life was. I had no idea at that point I would soon be working in New Mexico, as a wrangler at Philmont Scout Ranch. Neither had it touched my mind that in a short year I would move to another country, learn a different language and completely change my diet from meat and potatoes to beans and rice--enough said.

So the question remains, where will I be in the next 5 years? It almost remains uncertain, but there are some principles that shall remain true--I guarantee that in 5 years I will still be firm in my faith, happy with my family relations and striving to make a difference in the lives of those around me. No matter how much time shall pass, be it 5 or 50 years, these parts of me shall remain true.

Second question that I have thought a lot about: What do you think about when you have nothing else to think about?

I loved this question, how appropriate, but I have to admit it caught me a little off guard. Yet, as I thought about it driving home I noted my thoughts. Generally when I have nothing else to think about, I start dreaming about how to make the world a better place. How can I help agriculture progress? How can I persuade the person in downtown Salt Lake to buy their vegetables at the local farmers market? How can I convince the people around me and ultimately my nation that debt never was a good idea? How can I be an influence for good?

Problems exist worldwide. Complaints exist worldwide. Yet, how often do we try to become part of that solution? I dream about solving problems. I try to make agriculture more sustainable, economical and appealing. I rally groups together, express opinion and write until my writer cramp becomes a permanent dent in my fingers. Truthfully, I love becoming part of the solution.

So fellow bloggers, I challenge you to think about these same questions and blog about them:
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
What do you think about when you have nothing else to think about?

Uma Porta Abriu

2009-01-28T22:48:00.004-07:00

Open Doors
Originally uploaded by *Fede*

Uma porta abriu, describes my feelings today--translated it means, a door opened.

Have you ever found yourself in life feeling like all the doors were being shut, and all the answers to your prayers are "wait" or "no." Honestly, I detest such life situations, but the truthful thought of those experiences is I grow immensely.

My life, like most, tends to follow the "wait" pattern. I can almost hear Heavenly Father declaring the favorite words of my brother, "Waaaiitt for it, waaait." When I think I cannot hold on for a second longer, my prayers become more intense and my soul begs for more strength.

Last night in such a moment the words of Ether 12:6 came to my head:

Wherefore dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

Such an enlightenment helped me to understand once again that life is all about patience testing. No matter how much I want something or how bad I want it, the doors of life do not open until I am fully prepared to enter in them.

Today, I glory in the fact a door has opened. I passed another test. I am interviewing for an agriculture field study position next week. During economic hard times, I have been offered the opportunity to interview for a job that offers full benefits. If I am allowed to step through the door I can stay close to family, horses and the agriculture I love. Most of all, I believe I can make a difference.

But if not...a better door shall open and greater patience shall be achieved. For my patience's sake, lets pray that I have found my door.

Opa!

2009-01-27T22:32:00.003-07:00

"Opa" means whoops in portuguese. It's the best word to answer my sister-in-law's challenge to post my 6th photo, in my 6th folder. Well guess what, its her--as a mouse! Sister, thanks for the best laugh I have had all day!

Perdido

2009-01-17T19:14:00.003-07:00

Perdido in Portugese has many meanings, but mostly it just means lost.

I pose the question to the bloggersphere, why is it we are so ungrateful for the things we have U-N-T-I-L we lose them?

As a graduating college student, I never realized the value of car insurance, health insurance, heck...any insurance... until I realized I am going to lose it. Did I ever once say thank you to the loving dad that has given it too me for so long? Thanks Dad...(I guess I finally said it).

What about health? I have spent the last four days on a couch wishing there was such think as a stomach trader. I have not eaten hardly anything but crackers and drunk anything but gatorade. I have moaned, groaned, twisted and braced against stomach pain...however, only then did I realize the value of health.

As we rise every morning do we even realize the great gift of health? To run and not be weary, to walk and not faint--what a blessing.

Thanks God.

Do yourself a favor, be grateful for what you have today, go hug something before you lose it.

Liberdade

2008-11-11T12:57:00.005-07:00

American Flag
Originally uploaded by The Road Here (Patti)

"Liberdade" in Portuguese means Freedom.

Today is Veteran's Day. As part of my celebratory experiences, I watched a flag ceremony carried out by the Utah State ROTC, and Air Force. As part of that ceremony, 13 cannons were fired to honor the Utah State University Veterans who had participated in 13 different conflicts/wars.

Words cannot adequately describe my feelings listening to those cannons. It was if a mirage of soldiers appeared in my mind chanting, "Remember us and be grateful."

How often do we remember those soldiers, who on this day are in foreign lands fighting wars so that we may continue to go to school, work, and on family vacations?

The opposite of Freedom, is bondage, "a state of subjection to a force, power, or influence." A state in which upon circumstance we would be forced to do all things. Sometimes we enter war to prevent others from being subjected to such bondage.

The idea between freedom and bondage has been fought ever since the world began. God fought for our freedoms, when he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to win the war over sin. He formulated a perfect plan in which we can return to our perfect home once again. Do we remeber the ultimate soldier who fought with blood from every pore to give us our freedom?

Sometimes no. Because that 'ole serpant Lucifer, continues to make war with us, God's children, to bring us into bondage. He advocates war, places hateful and power-hungry thoughts into our hearts. He wishes us to forget all those who have made a sacrifice for our freedom.

Let us stop yielding unto him, and follow our True Leader--the one who desires our freedom.

So, today on this veteran's day. I just feel grateful. I am grateful for the promised land of America. A place where I can know of the true God, because of the many soliders that fought for religious freedom.

In short, I am proud to be an American, and I hope that God will continue to bless this land as we remember those who fought for our freedoms.

POR QUE?

2008-11-02T19:52:00.003-07:00

Saddle Bronc Riding
Originally uploaded by Bill Gracey

Por que in portuguese means WHY?

Ungratefully, sadly, and unfortunately, that is how I have been feeling these past couple of days. No matter how many blessings I count, activities I do to try to persuade myself from asking such a childish word, it still comes....

In some senses, you could compare me to Laman, and Lemuel. I've been murmuring my way through life. Why don't I have this? Why do I have to make this choice? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why?! The answer comes, because you need more patience
Why?! Because you need more humility
Why?! Because you need more charity
Why?! Because when you are in tribulation, that is when you are at your best--teachable

Why?! Ultimately so you can become more like Him above

Life always has its whys, and how comes. "The Lord descended below all things, are thou greater than He?"

Of Course Not. So I must be content wandering in the wilderness, until I find my promised land....argh, WHY?

Because the only way out is THROUGH. Hold on to the horn, stay in the saddle, because this life horse is going to buck hard.

Forca

2008-09-17T20:44:00.002-06:00

Horse pull --- Strength
Originally uploaded by Carol Mitchell

Forca means Strength.

Everytime I start a new school year I am amazed at the extra force I am given from above. Yesterday, I spent more than 14 hours on campus doing everything from school assignments to a planned public relations campaign for our college of agriculture week. Today, I spent seven hours in front of a computer screen writing a research analysis and preparing a law presentation.

What amazes me the most about these past few days is the added strength I have felt. It's during these miraculous times that I think of the scripture that reads, "my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me."

In my bible dicitionary grace is defined as, "the divine means of help or strength." I love how Elder David A. Bednar divines the enabling power of atonement through the grace of our Savior Jesus Christ:

"The enabling and strengthening aspect of the Atonement helps us to see and to do and to become good in ways that we could never recognize or accomplish with our limited mortal capacity," he said.

In my language that means if I continue working my hardest each day, I Heavenly Father will reach down and give me those skills and attributes I desperately need. I know as long as I am trying hardest, He will do the rest.

So when Heavenly Father asks me to pull just like this horse, I just simply thrust with all my might and say, how Far?

"Droga"

2008-09-04T00:20:00.002-06:00

"Droga" means ARGH, AHHHHHHH, or an expression used for frustration. I think we cannot have "truthful thoughts" without recognizing the sometimes weakening thoughts that come to us.

For example--it's 11:55, and you were suppose to read and comment for a college assignment. Your natural tendency says, "Make something up, nobody will ever know." However, a mind conscious of "truthful thoughts" will tell you being truthful is more important than some lousy points you would get for an assignment.

I once heard a story about a business man who was traveling with some of his colleagues. For lack of memory, I'll call his name Bob. While at the airport, Bob's friend inserted a quarter into a newspaper vendor and proceeded to take a paper for him, and all of his colleagues. However, when the man tried to hand it to Bob, he refused proclaiming, "Sorry, but my integrity is worth more to me than 25 cents."

That story has always stayed with me. To be true to oneself has more value than any college assignment, 25 cent newspaper, or any fame one could acquire through dishonesty.

So yes, I may yell "Druga" when I forget again that one assignment was due, but at least I'm still being true.

As licoes de uma crianca

2008-09-02T23:59:00.001-06:00

Happy Girl
Originally uploaded by SpringChick

As licoes de uma crianca: Lessons from a small child.

Do you ever find yourself stressing over small things? At the beginning of a new semester, its seems like the smallest things can send my mind into a whirlwind of "oh my gosh" and "will I make it?"

I confess most of my anxiety comes from my personality. I confess I'm a perfectionist and I hate failure.

However, I often notice when I recognize my weakness I become more humble and teachable. For example, tonight I spent the night with an old friend and her two beautiful girls. Hannah, the two year old, became my instant best friend. We had a party of a time chasing each other around my back yard. When she laughed, I laughed, and when she smiled I smiled. What amazed me the most was Hannah was content with her environment despite its unfamiliarity. She was open to me although we had never met.

How often as adults are we so quick to pose judgement, and so quick to fear! A prophet, named Moses recorded in his personal account when he feared he saw the bitterness of hell. Do we often create our own hell because of our judgements and fears?

The lesson I learned today was simple. Be happy with whatever circumstances the Lord decides to place you in. Laugh often. Smile often. For this is how we all used to be before we allowed the smugness of adulthood to take over.

Instead lets choose as Majorie Hinckley did. She once said, "You can either laugh or cry. I like to laugh because crying gives me a headache."

I hope all of us can learn the simple lessons I did today from a two-year old girl.

Seja Se Mesmo

2008-08-28T17:09:00.001-06:00

Pflanze / Plant 2
Originally uploaded by leralle

While reading a book today, I found this quote: "Trying to follow your own moral compass in the swirl of social, legal and ecomonmic strom [of this world] is not easy. You can easily get 'off course,' confused in your ability to know [truly who you are].

It can be very easy to be swept up in the ideas of fame, fortune and beauty. In fact, many people become so obessed with these ideas that they forget to smile, be a friend, or lend a listening ear.

The idea of "worldiness" or deceiving ourselves with a wrong idenity is not an old one. Even, Jesus of Nazareth taught about those deceived by worldly pleasures. In parable of the sower (Matthew 13: 3-8,18-22) one can learn about certain "seeds" (or intrepreted as people) that encountered thorns that choked their plant before it could bare fruit. The Lord intrepreted those thorns to be "the care of the world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of the world (Mark 4:19).

However, a conscious person--one that is true to themself--does not have to be swept away by such cares. One can find confidence in knowing their true self is divinely unique. Only that one person has certain gifts and talents to touch another.

So although you may feel like a small tender plant, growing up in a huge brick wall, remember this. Your True self has power to change the world.

So, simply be yourself.

Pensamentos de Verdade

2008-08-27T23:46:00.002-06:00

What's that language? It's simple Portuguese "truthful thoughts." This blog is dedicated to those truthful thoughts that I have come to know in my life.

I once heard a wise professor proclaim "knowledge should be made known, so that Truth (with a capital "T") could always prevail over falsehood." Yet, how might one find such Truth, and from what sources does it come?

Early journalists believed truth to be definite and discoverable. Many believe truth to be an inalienable, natural right. People need to know the truth, and deserve to know it. Journalists dedicate themselves to such a cause.

So I rally with my cause--to dig for the truthful thoughts that exist within each one of us. Just as a waterfall supplies a continual supply of water, I plan to give you a fresh view about divine truth.