2009: A pain in my behind

I caution all my readers, this post may contain too much pessimism, so read with caution.

The theme of 2009: A pain in my behind.

The year began in a pool of a most beloved country--Brazil.
I got sunburned. Do you know what it feels like to be on a plane for more than 14 hours with a bright red back?

January:Two weeks later I got some kind of stomach flu--I watched 18 hours of Lonesome Dove. Passed out on the couch. Ate crackers and drank Gatorade.

February: Applied for a job. Hopes high--good mullah--lady smashed hopes. Cried a lot.

March: I turned 25. Lost my health and car insurance. More bills

April: Big blur. Panic sets in for a new life.

May: I graduated from Utah State University--following my graduation, my family and I spent 2 hours searching through the dumpster for my little sister's clear plastic retainers (retail: $400).

Got into graduate school. I moved away from beautiful mountainous Cache Valley and my Dad lost his job.

Drove across the west to the mid-west: Utah, Colorado, Kansas (loved it), Oklahoma.

June:I started an amazing life in Oklahoma. (No sarcasm here--love Oklahoma...)

July: Get kicked out of my apartment by new tenant. Have no place to live.

August:I met my dream cowboy. He took me to meet his horse. He asked for my number. I was on cloud nine. The next day the Relief Society President was on my doorstep. He was married. Cloud hit by lightening. Now he dates a girl the same age as my little sister. (7 year difference :) )

September: Called Martin Harris. Worked an 60 hour week.

October: Roommate started dating--boy spends the night. Roommate blows up at me--I'm judgemental. Other roommate has a liquor party.

November: Wrote three 15-page papers. Two in one week. Cried a lot. Gained 15 pounds since June.

December:Traveled from Missouri, to Kansas, to Oklahoma, to Utah in 24 hours. Met my loving parents at the airport. Saw beautiful mountains, snow, rural streets and familiar faces.

Rode in my rusty-red truck to Logan. Played with friends. Cried some more.

Came home, got the flu on Dec 23.
Flu got worse, sniffles and hacking began.
Visited the doctor Dec 28--Have bronchitis.
Hacked all the way to Arizona to visit family.

Summary: 2009 was a pain in my behind. Call me a pessimist.

Surgeon General Warning: Graduate School

I am about three weeks away from finishing up my second (really first hard) semester of graduate school. When I began the semester I had no idea what a literature review was, nor did I believe I was capable of writing one. I had never done a research critique, nor thought about semiotics; however, in about four months I have learned how to do it all.

Still, I pose a warning to all those that are thinking about graduate school, and I do so in a scholarly manner.

Observe picture one below: this picture was taken in around the beginning of September 2008. I had just started the beginning of my senior year at Utah State University. My skin is vibrant, my eyes twinkle and my smile has a genuineness about it. I had an inner confidence and assurance that I could do anything; I was content with life.



Now observe picture two below: this picture was taken 5 minutes ago. Although it has been a little over a year, one can tell the toll this past year has had on me. The bags under my eyes reveal the overexposure to reading research articles, sometimes more than 50 pages long; the wrinkles above my eyes have been enhanced from too much contemplation. While the zits on my face reveal the stress associated with deciding to go to graduate school, moving states, cultures, and universities. It's interesting to note a couple of weeks ago I had the Rocky Mountains on my forehead and the Alps on my chin. Still, my favorite is the cute line of chubbiness that is hard to hide--the documentation of my preferred pastime: stress eating on chocolate and salty snacks.



My Conclusion: They should put a surgeon general warning on your graduate applications.

You're There...

In the ordinary aspects of life:

When I wake up
As I walk to class
While I sit at my desk

You're there...

As I seek to do the things I love to relax:

Horseback ride
Drive
Read

You're there...

When I attend the things that make me think:

Church
School
Work

You're there...

Thanks.

17 Pounds

Don't worry, this post isn't a musing over weight loss; although 17 pounds would be nice to lose :).

Instead, 17 pounds refers to the weight limit the Mormon Pioneers had when they crossed the plains by handcart. This included pots, pans, blankets, clothes and special possessions (music boxes, inherited vases, china, etc).

A description of this experience from Gerald Lund's novel, Fire of the Covenant, touched my heart as I was reading it last night:

"Maggie had known about the seventeen-pound limit before they ever left Scotland. She thought she had culled out everything that she could bear to leave behind. But now as she eyed the two stacks she had mad--one for discard, one for taking--the one looked pitifully small, the other unbelieveably large. Taking a deep breath, she started through the larger stack one more time. Out went her favorite dress. She had bought a year ago, one of the few times she had spent her wages on herself...after another five minutes of agonizing, it came down to two things. There was a brass looking glass that James [her boyfriend] had given her for Christmas last year...or the plain wooden music box, a gift from her
decesased father."

As Maggie went to weigh her things "The scales reversed with a heavy thud. The pan with the weights swung slowly back and forth in the air. The other pan rested heavily on the ground" revealing the weight of her precious possesions was too high. "She reached for the handle of the looing glass and pulled it out
from between her clothing. For a moment she thought the scales might come in balance. The lower pan lifted for a moment, but then hung silently about an inch above the ground." She was still too heavy. "Her shoulders lifted and fell, but without hestitations she reached out and took off the music box. The scales did not come into perfect alignment but the weigher declared, "that's enough."

Could you imagine traveling thousands of miles from Scotland, giving up your native land, home, friends and family; and then sitting on the edge of the wilderness and told, "No, you cannot take the precious music box your father gave to you."

Oftentimes, I believe we think we know what it means to sacrifice. Yet, after reading this story I have realized sacrifice means more than giving of your time and talents. More importantly, sacrifice is to give up the things you love the most, to obtain the greater unseen things God has for you.

It's never easy, but always worth it.

Culture

Experiencing culture...who defines it? what makes it a true culture?

Perception. Interpretation. Context. Meaning.

During my communication theories class today we examined the barriers often imposed because of culture. The poor say there are too many rich, the rich say there are too many poor--the whites have too much power, the blacks too little. Men work, women work and then cook, clean, etc....

Or so they say. Who says? They: a generic grouping of people who we blame life's confusions on--an answer as easy to give as blinking subconsciously.

My answer however is different, and its my question to the world:

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO LET PEOPLE JUST BE PEOPLE?

From my international experience in Brazil, I realized people are different but very much the same. Parents still worry about their kids, teenagers are well versed in the latest movies and bands, church leaders are worried about helping their congregations become better individuals.

I guess whenever I hear these defining attributes of this or that, I am sadden because it pulls us away from our true identities. Paul said in the New Testament, "The Spirit itself bearth witness with our spirit that we are the children of God."

That includes all the people on earth--we're family, brothers and sisters. God is our Father, we are His children. Such a view brings a greater light and hope to a stereotypical world and banishes the heartless "they" syndrome.

The fact of the matter is, it is also better to listen and to seek to understand, then to pass judgement and be indifferent.

Just a truthful thought for ya'll.

To Be or Not to Be:

SELFISH

1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

Since President Monson's amazing What Have I Done for Someone Today talk, I have found myself in the realization of how easy it is to become selfish in day to day activities:

• Get up
• Eat Breakfast
• Go to Work
• Study for School
• Go Home
• Eat
• Sleep

Yet the truthful thought of such a lifestyle is that is it ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE. Such a life is lived with no motive, love or desire for good.

Consider the following scenarios:

• An honor student with an notable GPA claims the Summa Cum Laude award vs. an honor student who helps his/her friend pass a chemistry test.



• An employee who is concerned about getting to the top vs. an employee who seeks to build up a positive work environment by fostering good employee relations



• A Christian who knows of Christ vs. a Christian who lives a Christlike life.

You see, selfishness is a result of a natural tendency to live life, "just because." President Monson said, "We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes."

I have found that life have so much more meaning when it is spent in the service of others. I love the scripture found in Proverbs 3:27

"Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it."

So the question becomes, to Be or Not to Be:

CHARITABLE

Utah Fall vs. Oklahoma Fall Weather

Sorry Utah, but you defintely lose this battle.

For all those who are traveling to General Conference in Salt Lake City, make sure you pack your thermals. As for me, I'm going to enjoy my t-shirts and horseback rides for another couple of months. Not to mention the beautiful greenery and trees that are all around me.